Anyone have a real difficult time talking to women?

[24788]

I just can't seem to figure out what to say or do. Every time I think I'm flirting with a girl it turns out to be that she's just really outgoing.

My buddies say I have really low confidence and will do anything to get out of talking to a girl. I just get so anxious I feel like passing out.

Any tips?

 

[afkallthetiem]

Alcohol

 

[Gdante]

You have a confidence problem that most guys have. I mean most cus to some degree we're all shy and have a lower than what we would like esteem of ourselves.

There's no quick tip, except alcohol. But if you wanna work hard on it type "pua" in google and start your research from there.

 

[24788]

You have a confidence problem that most guys have. I mean most cus to some degree we're all shy and have a lower than what we would like esteem of ourselves.

There's no quick tip, except alcohol. But if you wanna work hard on it type "pua" in google and start your research from there.

Thanks, I don't really drink due to the empty calories in beer/liquor.

I'll look into the PUA though.

 

[afkallthetiem]

Lol, don't waste your time with PUA shit, it's utter garbage, and stop being a baby and start drinking socially like every other adult on this planet.

 

[bodie54]

Any tips?

Yes.
Relax.
You're 20 years old.
You will meet hundreds, nay thousands of women over the course of your life.
They will all be human beings just like you, and though some will hide them better than others, each will have her own unique issues and insecurities, just like you.

Occasional rejections are normal. They happen to ALL of us, no matter how smooth we are (or think we are).

Asking a woman about herself - school, work, family, interests - is almost always a good conversation starter. If you're paying attention, her answers will almost always give you the opportunity to broaden the conversation by asking further questions, or offering your thoughts on what she's said - how your experiences in those areas are similar, or different.

Women are generally wonderfully engaging creatures - much moreso than men - so get out there and start engaging them, dammit :crash:

 

[Trevesty]

Lol, don't waste your time with PUA shit, it's utter garbage, and stop being a baby and start drinking socially like every other adult on this planet.

I somewhat disagree..

I don't really "follow" it, but a buddy of mine asked me if I researched it 'cause apparently I act just like a PUA when talking to girls at bars/clubs/wherever, so he let me borrow a couple of books.. and.. I do after reading them.

And it works. Quite well.

 

[Shindekudasai]

I'm going with bodie54 on this one. Except that there are still people out there (also women) who are dangerously superficial and will be rude and unkind because they think they're too good looking or anything like that. If you run across someone like that, alway remember: it's not your self esteem, it's theirs. You don't need them and if they make your live harder, talk to someone else. Don't waste your time. There are enough people on this planet.

and stop being a baby and start drinking socially like every other adult on this planet

Yeah right, any more shitty advice? I've stopped drinking alcohol two years ago and guess what, life works just fine without it. Now, I drink maybe a beer or two or a wodka when I feel like it which is every three months or so and that's about it. So, stop with the peer pressure and stuff like that and leave the decision to intoxicate to the one who contemplates it.

 

[bodie54]

I agree with passing on alcohol as a tonic for shyness, for three reasons.
One, it can become a crutch, which can then lead to far more serious consequences.
Two, you aren't really being yourself when you're buzzed. That's no big deal if you're just looking to make casual contact with somebody, but if your intent is to actually get to know somebody it's important they meet the real you, not you under the influence.
Three, we tend to think we're more fun and oh so clever when we're bombed. The reality is we're mostly just more stupid

 

[afkallthetiem]

Yeah dude PUA stuff works, don't bother talking to women just read a book about it instead that'll solve everything.

Yeah right, any more shitty advice? I've stopped drinking alcohol two years ago and guess what, life works just fine without it. Now, I drink maybe a beer or two or a wodka when I feel like it which is every three months or so and that's about it. So, stop with the peer pressure and stuff like that and leave the decision to intoxicate to the one who contemplates it.

You quit drinking 2 years ago and now you're a humorless grumpy old man that doesn't know how to spell basic words like "vodka" and apparently don't know how to read because no where in my post that you quoted do I peer pressure him into being an alcoholic. Glad to see that's worked out for you, you should start drinking again probably!

I somewhat disagree..

I don't really "follow" it, but a buddy of mine asked me if I researched it 'cause apparently I act just like a PUA when talking to girls at bars/clubs/wherever, so he let me borrow a couple of books.. and.. I do after reading them.

And it works. Quite well.

What's it like having to trick people into associating with you?

 

[Facetious]

Assuming that you live in Minn. :


"Isn't that gross that the men's head at the airport was made popular all because of Idaho Senator Larry Craig ?

"How about that, our Minnesota congressman Ellison is the nations' first muslim congressman ! Isn't that fu%$#ed ?"

"The yanks are in town, wanna go . . . ahh, fuck Jeter ! "

"Brett Farve ? You gotta be kiddin !

"Pike or Musky ?"

''Ice fishin' this afternoon ?

"I'm freezin', you ?"

"Are you a Swede too ?

"wanna go ice skating and fuck afterwards ?"

''Do you fear driving over bridges, my love ?"

"Was it really the build up of pigeon poo acids that weakened the structural integrity of that bridge that came down ? or was it the doings of Mr. Ellisons' (above) middle east pals ?"


:jester: :anonymous:

 

[Facetious]

Oh, you are in Minn. I see. :o

Food for thought - Nice, high quality chicks like shy & reserved guys. They like the mystery of trying to figure out that "cute guy with the nice smile."

Always remember - No weather, no politics, no religion and no money (financial) conversation with new chicks that you "meat",
Just constant praising & ass kissin, even if you have to be insincere.




- over'n out

 

[ThatRedWing]

Hell, just relax kid. It will come to you. I have rarely tried to use any lines or bullshit like that. Act like you're bullshitting with your buddies (although you may want to clean it up a bit). :thumbsup::hatsoff:

 

[Boobinator]

Asking a woman about herself - school, work, family, interests - is almost always a good conversation starter. If you're paying attention, her answers will almost always give you the opportunity to broaden the conversation by asking further questions, or offering your thoughts on what she's said - how your experiences in those areas are similar, or different.

Women are generally wonderfully engaging creatures - much moreso than men - so get out there and start engaging them, dammit :crash:

I've found that asking questions generally scare off girls. Even if you just do it to make conversation they seem to think you come off like a stalker. That might just be me though

I don't really find it hard to talk to girls, provided it's a civilized conversation. But in clubs and bars it's hopeless, half the time they don't hear what I'm saying for all the noise (think it's because I have a deep voice), the other half one of us is too wasted to talk properly.

Someone once said to me though, that bars are jock territory and other guys should try to meet girls elsewhere - which makes a lot of sense to me.
If you just manage to get a girl's attention (the hard part IMO), just relax and talk to them like you do with any other person.

 

[BlueBalls]

I used to have this problem in my teens. You grow out of it when you realse women arent a different species and they can speak English like the rest of us.

When I realised that I was gobsmacked :eek:

:1orglaugh

 

[busenbust]

A little bit of alcohol before you step out in front??

 

[D-rock]

Talking to women isn't that difficult...


...Getting them to take an interest in you when you say it is. :tongue:

 

[TunnelOfLove]

I've found that asking questions generally scare off girls. Even if you just do it to make conversation they seem to think you come off like a stalker. That might just be me though

What kind of questions you ask them if they make you look like a stalker? :1orglaugh

In my experience, girls like to talk about themselves, so asking questions is pretty good way. But not too personal questions on first date. Work, school or hobby related ones work (usually).

 

[NavyBlue]

I was exactly like you in college, and how I overcame it was just talk to them and finding out what makes them tick. If you are too insecure to talk to women you deem beautiful, then start with women who are less attractive so you can build up your confidence. Engage them in talks that interest them and find ways to be humorous because women like that. I would sometimes ask girls out in public knowing that I'd get rejected but it's a way to overcome fear of rejection. Girls will not make fun of you or be cruel unless they are bitches and you are better off without them. Just go out, have fun, and don't think too much and you will be alright.

 

[ChefChiTown]

I just can't seem to figure out what to say or do. Every time I think I'm flirting with a girl it turns out to be that she's just really outgoing.

My buddies say I have really low confidence and will do anything to get out of talking to a girl. I just get so anxious I feel like passing out.

Any tips?

Here's what you do...

The next time you're out and about, maybe at a bar, scope the place out and find the girl you are most attracted to. Chug a little beer, take a deep breath and then walk up to her. Don't get her attention; just silently stand right next to her. While you're waiting for her to notice you, unzip your pants and pull out your cock. Let it get comfortable. Let it hang. When a few moments have passed and she can no longer ignore you, she'll turn and have herself a look. She'll share a quick smile with you before she notices that your gummy is hanging out. When she notices it, she'll go "OH MY GOD" and then turn around really quickly and tell her friends. Her friends will all take interest and look at your rubbish.

How does that help you? Well, it doesn't. You'll be going home alone that night, but at least a few bitches will have seen your dick, which is more than most guys can say.