Anyone have a real difficult time talking to women?

[Baill Inneraora]

Alcohol

“Alcohol: The cause of and solution to most of life’s problems.”

- Homer J. Simpson

 

[Bloodshot Scott]

Alcohol

Usually this is the answer. Now, if your'e in high school, this for the most part just isn't gonna work. However, if you are in high school, you have to get to a party or two and get to that keg; this is the "water cooler" of the high school deal. If you can get a little buzz, pass the joint around, talk to the girl you want at a gathering, that makes things ten times easier.

I fucked my first girl at a kegger in high school; then she barfed on the bathroom floor and woke up the next day and didn't remember anything. :throwup: I had her number, she had mine, and all her friends were telling her all about her excapades with me the night before. Viola! I was in! :thumbsup:

 

[thebear247]

i have let two really wonderful ladies go in my life cus i had a hard time opening up to them and telling them how i felt i just have a hard tiem talking to women too

 

[STDiva]

That PUA stuff is fucking bullshit. Pick Up Artist. Ha.

Alcohol works. Don't get hammered or anything. A couple drinks can loosen you up. It's not a crutch. Once you talk to a few girls, your confidence will sky rocket, and next time you may not need to have anything to drink. But I like to anyways

But since you don't want to drink...

Don't go into it feeling like you have to impress them. And if she's not into you, don't take it personally. Once you start taking it personally, you'll feel discouraged before you even say a word to her.

That's my:2 cents:

 

[Boobinator]

What kind of questions you ask them if they make you look like a stalker? :1orglaugh

In my experience, girls like to talk about themselves, so asking questions is pretty good way. But not too personal questions on first date. Work, school or hobby related ones work (usually).

The usual stuff:
"are you having your period at the moment?"
"you won't cry because of my big cock will you?"
"how deep is your throat?"
"may I smell your hair?"

Nah but seriously... just usual small talk. I didn't mean it happens all the time, but sometimes when you talk to girls the first time they act like you're some pervert who's trying to rape them - it's amazing, how can they know? :tongue:

 

[Hot Mega]

Improving your outer shell improves your inner being.

Improve your physical appearance and that goes along way in improving your self confidence.

Allot of people are self-conscious about some perceived deficiency they have (physical or otherwise) and they become self-defeated before they even make their approach.

 

[mrtrebus]

Improving your outer shell improves your inner being.

Improve your physical appearance and that goes along way in improving your self confidence.

Allot of people are self-conscious about some perceived deficiency they have (physical or otherwise) and they become self-defeated before they even make their approach.

This is SO true. I was a bit overweight, well I thought I was, & finally did something about it a couple years ago. Since then I've had a lot more success with women & just generally. It sounds like a cliche & probably isn't an overnight thing but if you feel good on the outside then you feel good on the inside & people around you can sense that.

 

[Stacey]

I'd have to agree with Bodie here. Women aren't that hard to talk to. The key thing is to keep the questions away from being yes/no answers. Pay attention to the answers. Expand on it without asking about hair smelling (someone actually did that to me once. what a puke) Make eye contact when she is! If you are going to do a boobie stare, wait till she is looking away!
And for the love of all things holy and good, don't be a showoff. Nothing screams inferior more than listening to a man in a one-man pissing contest.

 

[Boobinator]

Improving your outer shell improves your inner being.

Improve your physical appearance and that goes along way in improving your self confidence.

Allot of people are self-conscious about some perceived deficiency they have (physical or otherwise) and they become self-defeated before they even make their approach.

Agreed.
I saw an interview with Victoria Silvstedt once where she said that in order to become sexy one must feel sexy (she's like a blonde Yoda, right?) and that you should accentuate what you like about yourself, and vice versa about your "flaws."
If you have a nice smile/teeth - smile a lot. If you hate your knees (??) - don't wear shorts.

Makes sense to me

 

[24788]

Thanks guys, I know women are just like us, but it's the confidence issue. The only thing I really got from the pick up artist is to not being boring and maybe to wear a conversation item for some help.

Here's what you do...

The next time you're out and about, maybe at a bar, scope the place out and find the girl you are most attracted to. Chug a little beer, take a deep breath and then walk up to her. Don't get her attention; just silently stand right next to her. While you're waiting for her to notice you, unzip your pants and pull out your cock. Let it get comfortable. Let it hang. When a few moments have passed and she can no longer ignore you, she'll turn and have herself a look. She'll share a quick smile with you before she notices that your gummy is hanging out. When she notices it, she'll go "OH MY GOD" and then turn around really quickly and tell her friends. Her friends will all take interest and look at your rubbish.

How does that help you? Well, it doesn't. You'll be going home alone that night, but at least a few bitches will have seen your dick, which is more than most guys can say.

If you weren't a White Sox fan I would have taken this the wrong way, but White Sox fans are crazy.

 

[skechers]

Don't be insecure. Don't try to carry the conversation, but rather flow along with it. Work from the strengths of your personality. Are you the quiet type... add confidence and self assurance to that and you got it made.

Or are you more outgoing? Be cocky, but not arrogant. Be easy. Try not to get too intense, or show off unnecesarily.

Be here now, in the conversation. Pay attention. Don't try to force it. Don't be afraid of getting rejected. Just have fun, avoid snooty personalites, and remember she's just a person.

 

[Red Spyder]

I agree with passing on alcohol as a tonic for shyness, for three reasons.
One, it can become a crutch, which can then lead to far more serious consequences.
Two, you aren't really being yourself when you're buzzed. That's no big deal if you're just looking to make casual contact with somebody, but if your intent is to actually get to know somebody it's important they meet the real you, not you under the influence.
Three, we tend to think we're more fun and oh so clever when we're bombed. The reality is we're mostly just more stupid

Not only that, but what about beer goggles? You may end up talking and trying to pick up a chick that at that time looks like Marilyn Monroe but then the next morning when you sobered up she looks more like Marilyn Manson.

And, yes, point number three above is exactly right. You go to a club, you try to ask this girl to dance but you're so buzzed that she just sees you like you're Barney from the simpsons and you end up dancing with your wingman....not that it happened like that.

 

[gunslingingbird]

I used to have this problem in my teens. You grow out of it when you realse women arent a different species and they can speak English like the rest of us.

No shit?!? I never knew that! Now, say I was in Abu Dhabi. Would the same principle apply? :tongue:

 

[belgianass]

Just be yourself, don't get scared to have a blue one (everybody gets one), don't go for the beautifull ones, go first for her a-bit-uglier-girlfriend. Work your way up,take your time you're still young (some are quicker then the other ones). I have 2 nephews one is 16 and still playing like a 10 year old, while the other one is 17 smoking,drinking and i think he is allready a big player ... they aren't brothers, but it shows that nobody is the same.
Just go for it ... It's like fishing, you'll get a bite once ...

 

[Yankeefan21325]

Thanks, I don't really drink due to the empty calories in beer/liquor.

I'll look into the PUA though.

Dude, alcohol will do wonders. Plus calories from a few beers on Friday and Saturday night won't make you gain weight. Now on the other hand, if a girl asks you out for a drink and you tell her you don't drink because of calories, well now that wouldnt be good for anyone.

 

[Shegotmepregers]

What you say to a woman is important, but how you say it is crucial. When you meet a woman she's not just "listening" to you. She's taking you in. All of you. Body language is the mother tongue.

 

[rawlwear]

Reading women can be hard are hell, remember wedding crasher when he was explains the reasons why he doesn't like dating some good points, overall go in to talking to women with confidence make eye contact , check her body gestures. Best is joke around and have a good time to break the ice. I find if you want answers ask, if you think shes not in to you just be up straight and ask her what she wants, but don't get to bottled up and assume stuff is bad.

 

[24788]

It's confidence mostly which I lack, but it's gotten better since I lost the 70 pounds.

I'm introverted/extroverted
Introverted when I first meet someone
Extroverted once I get to know them

I think one of my problems is gaming though. I've learned never to trust anyone and I think that follows me into the real world. I'm always sketchy of places in the city. Just don't know how to open up to someone on just a regular level.

I'll keep trying, but I hate when I read a girl wrong.

 

[rawlwear]

It's confidence mostly which I lack, but it's gotten better since I lost the 70 pounds.

I'm introverted/extroverted
Introverted when I first meet someone
Extroverted once I get to know them

I think one of my problems is gaming though. I've learned never to trust anyone and I think that follows me into the real world. I'm always sketchy of places in the city. Just don't know how to open up to someone on just a regular level.

I'll keep trying, but I hate when I read a girl wrong.

Probably beening able to trust people more if you open up, theirs not much to be afraid of I used to think people would judge me but no regrets I'm happy with my life. Are you afraid of something that holds you back from opening up?


not trying to get to personal here

 

[24788]

Probably beening able to trust people more if you open up, theirs not much to be afraid of I used to think people would judge me but no regrets I'm happy with my life. Are you afraid of something that holds you back from opening up?


not trying to get to personal here

Confidence really. I used to not open up because of my weight problem. That was more of an excuse I think now it's just I have no idea where to start.