Are you Democrat Republican or Redneck?

[JacknCoke]

I hope this hasn't been posted before did not find it in my search. Apologizes if it has. (yes this is a joke so relax Hot Mega)


Here is a little test that will help you decide.
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1 ?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Redneck's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click….
(sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'

Son: 'You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?'

Wife: 'You are not taking that to the taxidermist.

 

[~~whimsy~~]

HAHA!

Ah, nothing like good old sardonic humor to get the masses either laughing or uptight.

 

[BlueBalls]

Hey you don't have my answer up there!?!

Throw the children at him and run away...

 

[BlueBalls]

Motherfucking, double posting, shit headed, cock munching, twat punching, bastards!!!

 

[georges]

obvious answer is obvious, the third option because you always make sure that terrorists are deader than dead so no innocent citizen will be harmed

 

[meesterperfect]

The results, the bad guy kills the dem then rapes the wife in front of the kids.
the republican and southern man survive but get prosectuted for 1st degree murder by a liberal democrat judge and prosecuter.

 

[JacknCoke]

obvious answer is obvious, the third option because you always make sure that terrorists are deader than dead so no innocent citizen will be harmed

I agree, I love the daughters response haha that's just hilarious.

Hopefully Whimsy posts the joke he/she just sent me.

 

[Baill Inneraora]

Idiotic.

 

[JacknCoke]

Idiotic.

and here we go...

I always enjoy how people act to jokes. Post one about republicans or conservatives. I am sure it's profiling just as this is, and I am sure they will make me laugh.

 

[PlasmaTwa2]

I don't get it, but then again, I'm Canadian. We don't have Islamic terrorists.

 

[Spleen]

I drink a lot of beer, so I suppose I got more in common with the rednecks.

 

[StanScratch]

Motherfucking, double posting, shit headed, cock munching, twat punching, bastards!!!

Was that option four or something?

 

[Ace Bandage]

I'm a Republican. I don't own a gun. I'm not in the mood to bitch though...

 

[YMIHERE]

So you're saying that Democrat think and the others don't?

 

[meesterperfect]

stuff like that happens everyday in the USA.
On the street, in the home, but not by a muslim, by some product of US society.
Hell, I bet its happening as I write this post.

Sometimes thinking will get you killed.
If a situation arises where its you/your family or them, and you need to think about whats best, then you are simply a heartless coward.

With all the crime and sick scum in the world, how anybody can be against the right of legal gun ownership for self protection...........Well I gotta wonder what happened.


Now back to you Bob Sagit

 

[JayJohn85]

Act and you may eat, Think and You Might be dinner.

 

[Jagger69]

You left out part of the redneck conversation:

Redneck's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click….
(sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'

Dad: 'I don't know honey. I'm too drunk to remember'

:1orglaugh

Pretty funny in a totally partisan way, JnC. You could do lots of silly shit like this to make any political persuasion look dumb. Good job. :thumbsup:

 

[D-rock]

Is there a possibility the redneck will consider the dead terrorist road kill and take him home to eat him, or is that just something BlueBalls might do? :1orglaugh

Also is there a answer for independents or at least people that aren't stupid enough to choose a gun as overrated and crapy as a Glock to carry around?

 

[Jagger69]

Is there a possibility the redneck will consider the dead terrorist road kill and take him home to eat him, or is that just something BlueBalls might do? :1orglaugh

Also is there a answer for independents or at least people that aren't stupid enough to choose a gun as overrated and crapy as a Glock to carry around?

No. If he was a Mexican, possibly....but no self-respecting redneck would consider eating a camel-jockey. As for Blue Balls.....

And yes, a redneck would likely never use a Glock. S & W .357 or, more likely, just a good ol' shotgun.

 

[~~whimsy~~]

A father who is republican and his daughter who is liberal and still in school. Well his daughter comes home with her A, like usual, given she is an A student. Well her father said, 'Why the long face?'

She says, 'Well, my friend is getting a F. It just stinks she has that low of grade.'

Father says, 'Well, honey, you worked hard and got what you deserve; she doesn't, thus she gets what she deserves.'

Daughter replies, 'Still isn't fair that she is failing.'

So the father says, 'How about this? You go in tomorrow morning and tell the teacher, give me a C and in return raise my friend's grade up to a C. Then it will be equal. And she is passing the test'

Daughter says, 'Dad, that won't be fair! I worked hard for my grade, though!'

Dad says: Welcome to the republican party!