Bestest, Cheeziest Sex Lyrics You've Heard

[TheOrangeCat]

Singers and bands are always trying to outdo themselves creatively when singing about the beast with two backs .... and the result is usually hilarious.

here's my current favorite:

"Cum together in serenade, pull the pin on my love grenade." - Dirty Rhythm, Vinnie Vincent Invasion

Over to y'awl .......

 

[ApolloBalboa]

The entirety of Janet Jackson's "Would You Mind" contain lines so bad that they make the whole pizza delivery man monologue look like Shakespeare.

 

[~~whimsy~~]

This is a pretty cheesy, crazy love song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psvCUWzecGo

 

[lurkingdirk]

"Me who? Please boo. Landin' in that G2 same color as beef stew, pure blue, hebrew" - Camron

I beat my dick and bust off in ya eye so you can see me comin/cumin - DMX (from Where the Hood At)

 

[~~whimsy~~]

Grab you by your coat tail take you to the motel, hoe sale.
Don't tell, won't tell.
If you pick me then ima pick on you, d-o-double g and I'm here to put this dick on you.

Oh those romantic rappers!

 

[ApolloBalboa]

Ay carumba

 

[STDiva]

I'm gonna tear your ass up like we just got married and you're all mine now.

 

[Deepcover]

Long lyrics but I found this one funny yet true from Nas....

DON'T: Take the pussy, if she's fighting. Cause you saw what happened to Tupac and Mike Tyson. Especially if you're large, some h*@s is trife. Get you on a rape charge, have you serving your life.

DO: Get a yes confirmation before penetration. Or you'll wind up in a po..lice station.

DON'T: Get with no young chick and hit it. She's PG-13, your rated R, she's not permitted.

And...

DO: Set the mood right, Bailey's with ice
A cup of Thug Passion'll make everything right.

DON'T: Pop shit like you Daddy Longdick
when you come fast like Fed-Ex and bust too quick.

DO: Hit positions she will find interest in.

DON'T: Hit the pussy if that shit's blisterin...
Hope you're listenin, turn up your transisterin
Hot 97, or B-L-S, with your hand up her dress
Chillin with your girl while your thinking about ya ex.

I'm dying with laughter here...:rofl2:

 

[TheOrangeCat]

An oldie but goodie:

"No more hiding baby, nowhere to run.
"You pulled the trigger of my love gun"

 

[TheOrangeCat]

Long lyrics but I found this one funny yet true from Nas....

DON'T: Take the pussy, if she's fighting. Cause you saw what happened to Tupac and Mike Tyson. Especially if you're large, some h*@s is trife. Get you on a rape charge, have you serving your life.

DO: Get a yes confirmation before penetration. Or you'll wind up in a po..lice station.

DON'T: Get with no young chick and hit it. She's PG-13, your rated R, she's not permitted.

And...

DO: Set the mood right, Bailey's with ice
A cup of Thug Passion'll make everything right.

DON'T: Pop shit like you Daddy Longdick
when you come fast like Fed-Ex and bust too quick.

DO: Hit positions she will find interest in.

DON'T: Hit the pussy if that shit's blisterin...
Hope you're listenin, turn up your transisterin
Hot 97, or B-L-S, with your hand up her dress
Chillin with your girl while your thinking about ya ex.

I'm dying with laughter here...:rofl2:

Hot shit on toast! Is there an English translation anywhere?

 

[ForumModeregulator]

this just doesn't get old...

 

[knowone]

Something like:
I saw Polly in a porny with a pony and the pony seemed a little bored
Ooh oh ride Polly ride slide Polly slide

 

[TheOrangeCat]

I'm a make, make, make, make you scream' Make u scream, make you scream. Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump' My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)
BLACK EYED PEAS My Humps

 

[mrtrebus]

:dunno:

 

[lurkingdirk]

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

 

[TheOrangeCat]

Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg. Led Zep ( :bowdown::bowdown::bowdown: )

 

[mrtrebus]

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

I bet it fucking does sailor! :o

 

[LukeEl]

Let me take off all your clothes
disconnect the phone so nobody knows
let me light a candle
something something can't you see.

and Pony by Genuwine.

 

[TheOrangeCat]

But when I go through her
It's just like aaaaaaaaaa
uh
a hot knife
Through butterrrrrrrrr

Kiss

 

[L3ggy]

Listen to Cherry Pie by Warrant, maybe not cheesy.