Desperate measures

[vodkazvictim]

As some of you may know I only get to arsefuck the missus once a year and then I feel guilty because she doesn't like it.

I'm considering buy one of those fake arse things, since we're a forum full of perverts I figure someone somewhere here will be able to give me some advice on finding a decent one.

Anybody can recommend anything? Perhaps a fleshlight that feels like an arse, if not one of those arses?

 

[Red XXX]

Go green and get a Bitchcruiser, kill two birds with one stone!

 

[Danglyparts]

yeah, you could try a fleshlight with the ultra tight sleeve. should be good :thumbsup:

 

[vodkazvictim]

Go green and get a Bitchcruiser, kill two birds with one stone!

What's a bitchcruiser?

 

[Red XXX]

What's a bitchcruiser?

Google Bitchcruiser! It's all you've dreamed of.... trust me

 

[Will E Worm]

Why did you marry her? :dunno:

 

[vodkazvictim]

Why did you marry her? :dunno:

I'm not married yet.
I love her. She's the only woman I've ever wanted to be monogamous with. Marriage makes sense in this situation I believe.

 

[Will E Worm]

I'm not married yet.
I love her. She's the only woman I've ever wanted to be monogamous with. Marriage makes sense in this situation I believe.

She seems like someone who likes to limit people.

I couldn't marry someone like that.

Think it through first.

 

[squallumz]

ask the ex adult store guy over here.

one word: cyberskin.

i also happen to think that fleshlights are one of the most overrated things ever. the only reason they are popular is because they flooded the internet with their ads.

their material that's supposed to mimic cyberskin is actually a lot sticker. they also tear easy. also, you're still jacking off if you have to hold the stupid can.

trust me. get a cyberskin toy. if ur stuck, ur-3 is pretty ok too.

there are other brands like futurotic, ur-3, and i forget what fleshlight calls theirs (pleasure skin?) but i know which is best, what holds up, whats more realistic, and what lasts.

btw: this was one of my best sellers: http://www.bedroomjoys.com/roxy-jezel-ass-amp-pussy.html

thats a ur-3 toy.

and i own this one: http://www.adultdvdempire.com/631627/jenna-hazes-cyberskin-pussy-ass-sex-toys.html

 

[TheOrangeCat]

ask the ex adult store guy over here.

one word: cyberskin.

i also happen to think that fleshlights are one of the most overrated things ever. the only reason they are popular is because they flooded the internet with their ads.

their material that's supposed to mimic cyberskin is actually a lot sticker. they also tear easy. also, you're still jacking off if you have to hold the stupid can.

trust me. get a cyberskin toy. if ur stuck, ur-3 is pretty ok too.

there are other brands like futurotic, ur-3, and i forget what fleshlight calls theirs (pleasure skin?) but i know which is best, what holds up, whats more realistic, and what lasts.

btw: this was one of my best sellers: http://www.bedroomjoys.com/roxy-jezel-ass-amp-pussy.html

thats a ur-3 toy.

and i own this one: http://www.adultdvdempire.com/631627/jenna-hazes-cyberskin-pussy-ass-sex-toys.html

Squally, it surprises me you haven't made your own! Just need some liver, duct tape, a tea towel, some paper clips, a mango, a Dyson upright and a sock ... could be your weekend project

VV - not to throw my good fortune in your face or anything, but ..... I just finished arse fucking my lady. And she loved it. Just grabbed my turgid pecker and slid it in with a smile, and the words 'fuck my ass, baby'. But I'm sure a wank toy is just as good ... heheheheheh

 

[squallumz]

ewww liver! totally nasty ukey:

 

[TheOrangeCat]

ewww liver! totally nasty ukey:

well, you don't eat it, silly goose!

 

[STDiva]

Once a year?? WTF kinda rule is that? How do you determine when you fuck her?

 

[Tittyman5000]

There's no substitute for a tight arse! You can search for some crazy contraption but nothing comes close. However, I too just fucked the mistress in the ass! It was nice and tight, needed a lil K Y to get it in After that broke out the baby oil all over her fine ass and rode off into the sunset

 

[squallumz]

well, you don't eat it, silly goose!

*honk!*

 

[Tittyman5000]

Dammit you call him an Asshole this instant!

 

[squallumz]

hahaha! i forgot about that one.

 

[SpexyAshleigh]

I'm not married yet.
I love her. She's the only woman I've ever wanted to be monogamous with. Marriage makes sense in this situation I believe.

It definitely makes sense...and I commend you for having a good head on your shoulders. Something like anal shouldn't be a make or break in a relationship that is emotionally and otherwise sexually satisfying.

She seems like someone who likes to limit people.

I couldn't marry someone like that.

Think it through first.

How is it fair for someone to end a relationship that is 99% satisfying simply because they won't perform ONE sex act? What if the love of your life, someone you wanted to be with forever, ended up breaking it off because you wouldn't do ______________? (fill in the blank) No relationship is perfect and no one person can 100% fullfill a persons needs...its unrealistic to think that anyone could. But if they come damn close to being perfect for YOU then you have a keeper.

 

[Will E Worm]

How is it fair for someone to end a relationship that is 99% satisfying simply because they won't perform ONE sex act? What if the love of your life, someone you wanted to be with forever, ended up breaking it off because you wouldn't do ______________? (fill in the blank) No relationship is perfect and no one person can 100% fullfill a persons needs...its unrealistic to think that anyone could. But if they come damn close to being perfect for YOU then you have a keeper.

Once a year?? WTF kinda rule is that? How do you determine when you fuck her?

There's no substitute for a tight arse!

I don't know why heathens get married.

He should just live with two or three common law wives. :hatsoff:

 

[vodkazvictim]

She seems like someone who likes to limit people.

I couldn't marry someone like that.

Think it through first.

Not wanting a cock in her arse is an entirely reasonable standpoint. Do you want a cock in yours?

Squally, it surprises me you haven't made your own! Just need some liver, duct tape, a tea towel, some paper clips, a mango, a Dyson upright and a sock ... could be your weekend project

VV - not to throw my good fortune in your face or anything, but ..... I just finished arse fucking my lady. And she loved it. Just grabbed my turgid pecker and slid it in with a smile, and the words 'fuck my ass, baby'. But I'm sure a wank toy is just as good ... heheheheheh

When I'm done with you you're gonna be an orange cat with a red, black and blue arse!
:cussing:
:violent:
:sex:

Once a year?? WTF kinda rule is that? How do you determine when you fuck her?

Crimbo

It definitely makes sense...and I commend you for having a good head on your shoulders. Something like anal shouldn't be a make or break in a relationship that is emotionally and otherwise sexually satisfying.



How is it fair for someone to end a relationship that is 99% satisfying simply because they won't perform ONE sex act? What if the love of your life, someone you wanted to be with forever, ended up breaking it off because you wouldn't do ______________? (fill in the blank) No relationship is perfect and no one person can 100% fullfill a persons needs...its unrealistic to think that anyone could. But if they come damn close to being perfect for YOU then you have a keeper.

Thanks. I find it amusing to see that a woman understands and several men don't, lol.

I don't know why heathens get married.

He should just live with two or three common law wives. :hatsoff:

Biazzarely enough, if she let me have other women, I wouldn't respect her or love her so much...
Life wasn't meant to be easy you know...