Does porn make us too shallow?

[bostonkid9]

I know this might seem like a stupid question. But, I'm asking because I sometimes feel like I'll become less attracted to women I see everyday if I spend too much time looking at porn. I have seen posts where members say that they wish that the women they see everyday were as attractive as the women we talk about online. I obviously like porn. But am I unintentionally making myself less attracted to potential girlfriends by looking at it too much?

 

[Will E Worm]

But, I'm asking because I sometimes feel like I'll become less attracted to women I see everyday

That is a problem. Unless you do not want a real life girlfriend or wife.

I have seen posts where members say that they wish that the women they see everyday were as attractive as the women we talk about online.

They should fix themselves up more.

 

[lurkingdirk]

It doesn't matter. We're all dead inside. Just like hookers.

 

[bostonkid9]

That is a problem. Unless you do not want a real life girlfriend or wife.

I do want a real girlfriend/wife. I really do. The reason I even started looking at porn in the first place is because no girls ever really liked me in high school. Now I'm afraid that it might prevent me from being in a relationship. Like I said, I only feel this way sometimes. I can still be turned on by some women around me. (I go to a pretty big college.) It's just that I sometimes wonder if I'm being too critical and I'm missing out on something good.

 

[Will E Worm]

I do want a real girlfriend/wife. I really do. The reason I even started looking at porn in the first place is because no girls ever really liked me in high school. Now I'm afraid that it might prevent me from being in a relationship. Like I said, I only feel this way sometimes. I can still be turned on by some women around me. (I go to a pretty big college.) It's just that I sometimes wonder if I'm being too critical and I'm missing out on something good.

Then you haven't found the right one yet.

 

[bostonkid9]

Then you haven't found the right one yet.

There is one girl I met a year ago. I started to like her. At first, I didn't really get hard thinking about her (even picturing her naked). After, I started to by thinking of her naked. I haven't seen her in over a month because she's at an internship in another state. Now, I can't really get turned on thinking of her naked. Part of it might be I have never seen her naked or even in a bikini. It might also be that I haven't seen her. I'm still happy when I talk to her. I just don't know.

 

[TheOrangeCat]

Uhm no. Porn doesn't 'do' anything. You make a choice about how you conduct yourself, you make the choice over what you watch, how you interpret it, how you use it to interact with others.

Blaming porn for your views on women/relationships is like blaming eating fat for making you fat instead of a)not eating fat, b) not eating as much fat, c) not exercising to compensate for fat eating etc etc etc.

If you are becoming aware that your porn habits are distorting your views of women or affecting how you interact with them, then change YOUR habits.

If you are shallow, it is not porn's 'fault'. It's yours.

The good news is you can change that anytime you want.

 

[JacknCoke]

Uhm no. Porn doesn't 'do' anything. You make a choice about how you conduct yourself, you make the choice over what you watch, how you interpret it, how you use it to interact with others.

Blaming porn for your views on women/relationships is like blaming eating fat for making you fat instead of a)not eating fat, b) not eating as much fat, c) not exercising to compensate for fat eating etc etc etc.

If you are becoming aware that your porn habits are distorting your views of women or affecting how you interact with them, then change YOUR habits.

If you are shallow, it is not porn's 'fault'. It's yours.

The good news is you can change that anytime you want.

man I already used this once today but here it goes again

/thread

 

[busenbust]

shallow? not at all ! I am Socrates ! porno should make us all more open-minded -- it should awaken our senses

 

[TheOrangeCat]

man I already used this once today but here it goes again

/thread

ah-ha as in [/CLOSETHREAD] ??

 

[JacknCoke]

yeah or end thread, more or less nothing more needs to be said

 

[Deepcover]

No no hell no.

 

[LukeEl]

No porn makes me think of getting a job as a pizza delivery guy and getting payed in blow jobs and humping hungry housewives.

 

[RichardNailder]

Hell no - when I'm making porn, I try to go as deep as I can.

 

[bostonkid9]

Uhm no. Porn doesn't 'do' anything. You make a choice about how you conduct yourself, you make the choice over what you watch, how you interpret it, how you use it to interact with others.

Blaming porn for your views on women/relationships is like blaming eating fat for making you fat instead of a)not eating fat, b) not eating as much fat, c) not exercising to compensate for fat eating etc etc etc.

If you are becoming aware that your porn habits are distorting your views of women or affecting how you interact with them, then change YOUR habits.

If you are shallow, it is not porn's 'fault'. It's yours.

The good news is you can change that anytime you want.

Good points. I guess I just don't really know what's going on. I do look at porn a lot. I guess I was just trying to find a reason why I might feel like this is happening to me. Maybe it isn't because I'm becoming shallow that I don't seem as turned on by certain women. Maybe it's something else. The particular girl that I talked about earlier in the thread is the reason I started thinking this. Maybe I need to sort out whether or not I really like her.

 

[STDiva]

Porn makes us shallow.
Video games make us kill.
TV makes us dumb.

 

[TheOrangeCat]

Good points. I guess I just don't really know what's going on. I do look at porn a lot. I guess I was just trying to find a reason why I might feel like this is happening to me. Maybe it isn't because I'm becoming shallow that I don't seem as turned on by certain women. Maybe it's something else. The particular girl that I talked about earlier in the thread is the reason I started thinking this. Maybe I need to sort out whether or not I really like her.

It sounds like you've got a little lost, that's all.

You already have the self awareness to recognize you might be blurring the lines. That's the key. The next part of the trick is NOT beating yourself up over what you are noticing about yourself. It happens. It happened.

And it may be that your are sublimating an uncomfortable sense - an internal voice that is telling you 'this isn't the girl for you' - by deflecting that discomfort into some sense of guilt over using porn to fill the gap between what you have or feel about this girl, and what you actually want.

I really wouldn't worry too much. Most of go through porn fixation phases or mini-obsessions with a certain girl, or kind of sex. And I'll bet most of those episodes coincide very closely to periods of turmoil or discomfort or doubt in our 'waking lives'.

Good luck

 

[bostonkid9]

It sounds like you've got a little lost, that's all.

You already have the self awareness to recognize You Might be blurring the lines. That's the key. The next part of the trick is NOT beating yourself up over what you are noticing about yourself. It happens. It happened.

And it may be that your are sublimating an uncomfortable sense - an internal voice that is telling you 'this isn't the girl for you' - by deflecting that discomfort into some sense of guilt over using porn to fill the gap between what you have or feel about this girl, and what you actually want.

I really wouldn't worry too much. Most of go through porn fixation phases or mini-obsessions with a certain girl, or kind of sex. And I'll bet most of those episodes coincide very closely to periods of turmoil or discomfort or doubt in our 'waking lives'.

Good luck

Thanks for understanding. I'm not trying to attack anyone for their porn use. I'm just simply inquiring about a dilemma.

 

[TheOrangeCat]

Thanks for understanding. I'm not trying to attack anyone for their porn use. I'm just simply inquiring about a dilemma.

I hope it doesn't come across that I thought you were attacking people for porn use.

I just have a low tolerance for 'blame' culture. That's not a criticism of you or your post, just where the genesis of my first reply come from.

I see porn as nothing but pure fantasy. I have also used it to hide inside during some seriously hideous relationship moments. Was it because i was comparing and preferring the porn sex and its performers itself/themselves to what I had 'at home'. I don't think it's that simple. I think I just preferred fantasy to reality at a time when reality really, really sucked ....

 

[Member442]

I'm out everyday. Minus a few differences I look at least when I'm clothed mostly the same in everyday clothing. We are out there just look or move to Canada We have tons of hotties that could do porn easily enough if they wanted too.

Everyone goes through phases. That's part of being human.