One time I bought gas at this Speedway. So the guy working there, he asks me, "Do you have a Speedway Discount Card?" And I said, "No. Does Your Mom Have My Phone Number?" So this guy got pissed. And he whipped out his penis and started pissing next to my car. But by then I was done filling up my tank, because the computer gasoline thingy told me so. So I took the gas nozzle and smashed his peepee and he yelled out real loud, like a drill sergeant. Then there was this puddle of pee and Speedway gas, until I got into my car and drove away. Because I was tired of this shit.