Gentleman

[Hot Mega]

I grew up in Laguna Niguel and lived in Murrieta for a while to

My best friend ben lives in Villa Park

Cool...so you know where I'm talking about..

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

Being a gentleman is not about being chivalrous or even being considerate towards the gentler sex. In modern speech, the term is usually democratized so as to include any man of good, courteous conduct.

"A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude." - Oscar Wilde

From answers.com:

Robert E. Lee

Lee's definition speaks only to conduct.

The forbearing use of power does not only form a touchstone, but the manner in which an individual enjoys certain advantages over others is a test of a true gentleman.

The power which the strong have over the weak, the employer over the employed, the educated over the unlettered, the experienced over the confiding, even the clever over the silly — the forbearing or inoffensive use of all this power or authority, or a total abstinence from it when the case admits it, will show the gentleman in a plain light.

The gentleman does not needlessly and unnecessarily remind an offender of a wrong he may have committed against him. He can not only forgive, he can forget; and he strives for that nobleness of self and mildness of character which impart sufficient strength to let the past be but the past. A true man of honor feels humbled himself when he cannot help humbling others.

More from answers

Modern usage

The word "gentleman" as an index of rank had already become of doubtful value before the great political and social changes of the 19th century gave to it a wider and essentially higher significance. The change is well illustrated in the definitions given in the successive editions of the Encyclopædia Britannica. In the 5th edition (1815) "a gentleman is one, who without any title, bears a coat of arms, or whose ancestors have been freemen". In the 7th edition (1845) it still implies a definite social status: "All above the rank of yeomen". In the 8th edition (1856) this is still its "most extended sense"; "in a more limited sense" it is defined in the same words as those quoted above from the 5th edition; but the writer adds, "By courtesy this title is generally accorded to all persons above the rank of common tradesmen when their manners are indicative of a certain amount of refinement and intelligence".

The Reform Act 1832 did its work; the "middle classes" came into their own; and the word "gentleman" came in common use to signify not a distinction of blood, but a distinction of position, education and manners.

By this usage, the test is no longer good birth, or the right to bear arms, but the capacity to mingle on equal terms in good society.

In its best use, moreover, "gentleman" involves a certain superior standard of conduct, due, to quote the 8th edition once more, to "that self-respect and intellectual refinement which manifest themselves in unrestrained yet delicate manners". The word "gentle", originally implying a certain social status, had very early come to be associated with the standard of manners expected from that status. Thus by a sort of punning process the "gentleman" becomes a "gentle-man".

In another sense, being a gentleman means treating others, especially women, in a respectful manner, and not taking advantage or pushing others into doing things they choose not to do. The exception, of course, is to push one into something they need to do for their own good, as in a visit to the hospital, or pursuing a dream one has suppressed.

In some cases its meaning becomes twisted through misguided efforts to avoid offending anyone; a news report of a riot may refer to a "gentleman" trying to smash a window with a dustbin in order to loot a store. Similar use (notably between quotation marks or in an appropriate tone) may also be deliberate irony.

Another modern usage of gentleman- is as a prefix to another term to imply that a man has sufficient wealth and free time to pursue an area of interest without depending on it for his livelihood. Examples include gentleman scientist, gentleman farmer, gentleman architect[2], and gentleman pirate.

In a nutshell a gentleman can be described as a man who can make people comfortable and welcome under any circumstance.

 

[Skyraider22]

It is sad to say it seems to be a thing of the pass but I still teach my boys to be gentlemen and treat people with respect but where I'm from it seems to be okay to act like a damn fool but there still are gentlemen in the world I would hope :2 cents:

 

[mrtrebus]

The Chap Manifesto! For every discerning gentleman to take heed of
http://www.thechap.net/content/section_manifesto/index.html
:hatsoff:

 

[Serpent7]

My mother raised me as a gentleman. Makes all the difference. What some would call "going out of your way" in some places, here for alot of us southern boys in the US, it's force of habit.

Not from the US, but my mother insteeled it in me. My wife is happy. And my children will be the same.

 

[ChefChiTown]

Here is my two cents on being a gentleman...

In my opinion, being a true gentleman involves more than just saying "please" and "thank you" and opening car doors for your date. To be a true gentleman, you need to treat everybody with respect, not just women. You need to be courteous, respectful and thoughtful, putting others before yourself in social situations. Yes, saying "please" and "thank you" is a very polite thing to do, but true gentlemen go above and beyond that. True gentlemen follow the rule of "ladies first", offer their seat on the bus to the elderly and pregnant women and hold doors open for people behind them. True gentlemen treat women with respect and don't view or treat them as objects of lust. True gentlemen put others before themselves and don't hesitate to sacrifice, nor do they expect anything in return when they do. True gentlemen are hard to come by.

Now, with that being said...

If you ARE a gentleman, women usually don't notice.
If you AREN'T a gentleman, women always notice.

From personal experience, I couldn't even tell you about one instance in where I was a perfect gentleman to a woman in which I was thanked or even appreciated. I hold open a door? Nothing. I offer a seat to a woman? Nothing. I treat my girlfriend like a princess? Nothing. The list goes on and on and on.

But, I could offer you a million stories of how women have completely ignored me when I was acting as a gentleman and, at times, have even gotten offended when I was being a gentleman. Hold open a door for a woman? Get an "I'm not helpless and I can open doors for myself" look. Offer my seat to a woman? "I know I'm a woman, but I can stand just as well as you can!" The list goes on and on and on.

You know that phrase, "Nice guys finish last"...??? It's true. Being a gentleman almost always gets you nowhere.

 

[mrtrebus]

If you ARE a gentleman, women usually don't notice.
If you AREN'T a gentleman, women always notice.

110% true! :hatsoff:

 

[Supafly]

I am trying to follow the old code of chivalry. Every man should protect the weaker, be polite to others and stand up if those are in danger of being harmed.

But it is true, many people, especially women aren't used to this anymore or think I want to get into their panties by being nice, because usually, today guys just act like tgis when they try to get a nookie.

 

[marquis2]

My Dad said there are three things a gentleman never does.
1. Wear a hat indoors.
2. Drink from a bottle. This is a disgusting habit but becoming increasingly common.
3 .Leave the toilet seat up.

 

[TouchElla]

I do agree that it seems chivalry is going out the window. Which is REALLY sad. Because though it's hot for women to be independent, it's also sexy as hell when a man goes out of his way to think of you. Men, don't give up on this - it's SO hot to be treated like a lady (even though we don't always act like them! you wouldn't want us to ALWAYS be ladies, would you>?!?! hee hee )

 

[TouchElla]

Here is my two cents on being a gentleman...

In my opinion, being a true gentleman involves more than just saying "please" and "thank you" and opening car doors for your date. To be a true gentleman, you need to treat everybody with respect, not just women. You need to be courteous, respectful and thoughtful, putting others before yourself in social situations. Yes, saying "please" and "thank you" is a very polite thing to do, but true gentlemen go above and beyond that. True gentlemen follow the rule of "ladies first", offer their seat on the bus to the elderly and pregnant women and hold doors open for people behind them. True gentlemen treat women with respect and don't view or treat them as objects of lust. True gentlemen put others before themselves and don't hesitate to sacrifice, nor do they expect anything in return when they do. True gentlemen are hard to come by.

Now, with that being said...

If you ARE a gentleman, women usually don't notice.
If you AREN'T a gentleman, women always notice.

From personal experience, I couldn't even tell you about one instance in where I was a perfect gentleman to a woman in which I was thanked or even appreciated. I hold open a door? Nothing. I offer a seat to a woman? Nothing. I treat my girlfriend like a princess? Nothing. The list goes on and on and on.

But, I could offer you a million stories of how women have completely ignored me when I was acting as a gentleman and, at times, have even gotten offended when I was being a gentleman. Hold open a door for a woman? Get an "I'm not helpless and I can open doors for myself" look. Offer my seat to a woman? "I know I'm a woman, but I can stand just as well as you can!" The list goes on and on and on.

You know that phrase, "Nice guys finish last"...??? It's true. Being a gentleman almost always gets you nowhere.

Actually, I have noticed this too. I was at the gym the other day, on the bike. And I was sitting where I could see the front doors of the gym. I was watching woman after woman walk through a door being held open for her (sometimes by another woman) and NO "thank you's!" What the hell is wrong with people these days?!?!? I try to say thank you to everyone for as much as possible - without being irritating. It's so rare to find considerate people. But I assure you, the women who are truly of character DO notice....

 

[Ace Bandage]

In terms of chivalry, it's certainly dying with some men. However, I'm considerate and polite to people by nature. And I generally always open the door for my girlfriend - whether it's the car door or the door to the restaurant. She appreciates that, as do most women. Although they love to be independent, they like to be taken care of as well.

 

[mongo18]

People are assholes. End of story. I'm courteous, respectful, and helpful. Nobody else is. The assholes have us outnumbered 1000 to 1. The human race has gotten soft and flimsy and everybody wants to be treated like royalty but nobody respects anybody else and everybody thinks they deserve it all but nobody is willing to do any fucking work to make it happen and idiots will abuse and berate anybody who doesn't serve them but watch them get oh so offended if somebody is not polite to them one time.

I fucking hate people. I fear that my daughter is going to be the only member of her generation with any shred of respect or fucking self awareness.