Hand Job: Rules for women as stated by a man

[ChefChiTown]

I think #17 should be "Please don't aim it 'up' towards the face. If you don't want it on your face, just imagine how we feel."

 

[DOA82]

1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish
3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?
4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again, you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck in your teeth...because you won't have any.
6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the dick off your breath we would stick around afterward.
7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the shit end of the stick in flavor country.
10. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth
11. Play with the balls
12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
13. Blowjobs are the only reason we spend time with you instead of our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for some action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
16. If you swallow, then you won't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us girls, okay?

What century were these bull shit "Rules" made up in?

Half of them are just plain disrespectful the rest just total and utter bullshit! I especially like that one where he threatens physical violence oh and lets not forget that one with the say anything wrong and Ill leave.

Even from a joke stand point they are not even funny. OP, you probably didnt write them (im giving you a huge benefit of the doubt here) but I still wanna kick you in the side of the head for posting them!

 

[shayd]

Well, it's a big world out there and believe it or not, there are women (submissive types) who like being talked to and treated in this way.

There certainly are, but for the vast majority of people, these are more than a bit out of line, even if they are supposed to be in good fun.

 

[Facial_King]

Sometimes lists like these that employ exaggerated gender stereotypes for humorous affect are fairly amusing. This isn't one of those times. It's actually a pretty offensive one, imo.

And obviously it's about BJs, not HJs.

I tend to agree here...

be thankful I'm not pulling your hair?

Misogynistic, but aside from that, just really not funny.

I'm not necessarily offended, but I'm not laughing, either....

 

[Hot Mega]

There certainly are, but for the vast majority of people, these are more than a bit out of line, even if they are supposed to be in good fun.

Agreed as they wouldn't really apply as (mainstream) rules but assuming the thread starter found those types of chicks, he wouldn't be frozen out of getting action.