How does one satisfy a woman?

[vodkazvictim]

Those who actually give two fucks (nobody) may know that it's tough to find jobs in England these days (tougher the further North you go).
After University I got a job in a bar on the weekend while during the week I trained to teach English as a foreign language (sounds shit, but jobs for graduates aren't easy even for those who studied something with a specific role in mind (eg architecture) I studied abstract subjects: Philosophy and Russian.
Not so long ago I finished the course and have since been teaching private lessons in the week, working bar on the weekend.

All this time all I've been hearing from the missus is "Ante, get a job!" (Ante being a Greek word expressing exasperation).
Well, guess what, despite the fact that those retarded fuckshits on the CELTA board have been slow releasing my certificate (supposed to get it in two weeks, it's now been over two months) I went to an interview and they offered me the job in the interview.
Being offered the job in the interview really gives you an ego boost and makes you think you've done good.
Obviously, I'm relieved; this is my way into the profession and now the constant "Ante, get a job!" can dissapear, right?

Wrong. I tell her on the phone and the voice of dissatisfaction comes down the phone line:
"Ante, thelo us to live together!" (Thelo meaning "I want" in Greek)
Well I do too, but one doesn't click ones fingers and get a dream teaching job in the area she's in just like that.
Lets be honest, it's highly unlikely that I'm gonna get a dream job in her area sitting on my arse thinking of sweet things to say to her all day and that the job is gonna have perks like my own private plane to fly her out to Rome when fashion week comes.
She got a new job recently. Did she get one in my area to live together? No.
I haven't even had time to start properly looking for jobs in her area yet, and she's working a 4 days on 4 days off pattern which means she'll have plenty of time to come visit me.

Yet despite me pulling off what I think is quite a coup (getting that first teaching job in England that will be a good mark on my CV) she is STILL not satisfied and the eternal pressure she puts upon me has not been lifted from my shoulders.

It helps me to vent a little, hence these occasional threads, but seriously, how the fuck do I satisfy her? I'm not far off buying tranquilizer darts and shooting her with one anytime she starts whinging that I haven't done something hard that she hasn't even made any small effort to do (getting a job in an area close to the other).

I live in the South where it's easy to find work. She lives in Middle England where it's harder, but she lives in the area where her specific industry predominates, but it's an employment deadzone for most other things.

C'mon guys, I bet you've all got stories of impossible to satisfy women, right? I'm sure it's not just me? I'd at least feel slightly better if I wasn't alone in putting up with this
I've decided to turn the tables on her and give her the pressure of every phone call "Ante, why haven't you found a job in my area?!" See how she likes it.

 

[STDiva]

That sounds pretty hipocritical. "Do these things for me that I'm unwilling to do for you"

You sure complain about your significant other a lot VV! Maybe jobs apart isn't such a bad thing.

 

[vodkazvictim]

That sounds pretty hipocritical. "Do these things for me that I'm unwilling to do for you"

You sure complain about your significant other a lot VV! Maybe jobs apart isn't such a bad thing.

I need to vent. I love her, but she drives me nuts. I was under the impression that this was the status quo.

 

[STDiva]

There should be sacrifice on both sides, but people are going to nag I guess.

 

[yoicham]

I guess it also has to do with where each of you are in life...i.e. is your relationship or your career more important to you (for each of you). It seems like her career is taking priority, but I'm not sure about you.

Out of curiosity, what is her specific industry? And how far is this between South and Middle England? Like 2 hours, 5 hours, 10 hours driving time?

 

[pool_hustler]

I haven't had this problem much with girlfriends, but holy shit I sure did with one serious girlfriend's parents.

They weren't about to accept a "lowly house painter" as a match for their little princess, and therefore made every possible effort to break us up. They finally succeeded by cutting off her college tuition money, which forced her to drop out of school (she was studying to be a special ed teacher). Nice parents, eh?

So six months after we broke up she married some rich kid - the son of some family the parents knew - but he turned out to be an abusive alcoholic. Ahhhh, Karma's a bitch :glugglug:

Best of all, by the time she divorced that clown I'd ended up having good success in a different field, and the kind of lifestyle they wanted for her Double Karma's a major bitch

Best advice VV: just be yourself. If that's not "good enough" for her, or whoever, fuck 'em. They aren't worth the constant aggravation.

 

[vodkazvictim]

I guess it also has to do with where each of you are in life...i.e. is your relationship or your career more important to you (for each of you). It seems like her career is taking priority, but I'm not sure about you.

Out of curiosity, what is her specific industry? And how far is this between South and Middle England? Like 2 hours, 5 hours, 10 hours driving time?

It's a 2 hour train journey for me to reach her. Which isn't a problem and I regularily do it to be with her.
She's admitted she was wrong and apologised. She was just pissed off because she wants to live with me permanently, not have me running around after work (but then again, no work means no meals in restaurants and no flowers).

I haven't had this problem much with girlfriends, but holy shit I sure did with one serious girlfriend's parents.

They weren't about to accept a "lowly house painter" as a match for their little princess, and therefore made every possible effort to break us up. They finally succeeded by cutting off her college tuition money, which forced her to drop out of school (she was studying to be a special ed teacher). Nice parents, eh?

So six months after we broke up she married some rich kid - the son of some family the parents knew - but he turned out to be an abusive alcoholic. Ahhhh, Karma's a bitch :glugglug:

Best of all, by the time she divorced that clown I'd ended up having good success in a different field, and the kind of lifestyle they wanted for her Double Karma's a major bitch

Best advice VV: just be yourself. If that's not "good enough" for her, or whoever, fuck 'em. They aren't worth the constant aggravation.

Uber, just uber. Great story, they got what they deserved, shame their daughter had to suffer tho.
I'm glad you're happy now mate.
It's not that I'm not good enough for her, she just wants to be with me constantly, and that's what drove her to sulk instead of react well to the good news that I get a foot on a career ladder.
The best bit is that the very reason I'm entering this field is so that in hte future, should we move to her country, I can get a job teaching English there.

 

[Neutron66]

How does one satisfy a woman?

Eat her pussy every night.

 

[Supafly]

From personal experience, I can say, when you have a woman that just keeps nagging on you and when you get ahead, she still finds new things about you she does not like / love - she wants not you, she wants somebody else she tries to shape out of you.

And in the end, you are somebody else, and she will say, 'You're not the man I fell in love with anymore'

You can't win this

Best ask her if the both of you just have a sexual relationship or if she wants someone else.

If the one you love can't be happy with what you are, she does not love you.

 

[vodkazvictim]

From personal experience, I can say, when you have a woman that just keeps nagging on you and when you get ahead, she still finds new things about you she does not like / love - she wants not you, she wants somebody else she tries to shape out of you.

And in the end, you are somebody else, and she will say, 'You're not the man I fell in love with anymore'

You can't win this

Best ask her if the both of you just have a sexual relationship or if she wants someone else.

If the one you love can't be happy with what you are, she does not love you.

Interesting perspective.
But I love her.
She says she's just frustrated that we don't live together.

 

[Icewater Jones]

Unfortunately, if someone wants something different, they will seek something different. It doesn't matter if you're a 9 out of 10 to her, she will go find the guy that covers the 1 pt. you lack if she feel it's of importance. The key to lowering the probability of this is to consistently fill her with positive emotion. Since women are geared emotionally, it's important to stay in tune with that. Get an understanding of actions, activities, places, and values that are automatic happiness for her through communication. Don't be afraid to ask about these things.

Women are also very visual, so what SHE sees is very important. She needs to see that you care more than she hears it, and what your reactions and facial expressions convey get noticed very easily. If you put foward worry and a lack of confidence, she will see it before you express it, and doubly pissed if you don't tell her your apprehensions, so make sure she sees the interest and passion you have for her through physical expression, because that is exactly how she will tell you the same. Show her that you do have confidence in you as a couple, and communicate what you feel is the best route for you. Compromise will be a regular thing. Get used to it.

There will be times that there is nothing you can do to satisfy her, but your recognition of those times, and your readiness to be there for her when she needs means a lot. All of these things put in to practice will make it more difficult for her to leave...







... unless you aren't good in bed. Then...................

 

[TheOrangeCat]

This is perhaps the hardest aspect of a relationship to get right: compromise.

Now, for a man, compromise means meeting your partner half way.
For a woman it means getting everything she wants, and laying off the nagging for a day.

You have an extra difficulty with yours in that she's Greek. And like latinas, they are firecrackers always on the verge of exploding.

Now, I know you love her deeply. And I'm sure she feels the same way about you.

But let me tell you from bitter experience (twice). Love is NEVER enough to make a relationship work; and certainly not a marriage.

Now, hopefully this is a storm in a teacup for you both, a simple matter of two people who are still getting their sympatico aligned, which in and of itself is a long process of trial and error.

The bottom line is, unless she accepts you for who you are here and now, she's never going to accept you. And the same goes for you too.

Sorry not to be more encouraging, but I've lived thought this and my and the misses' deep love for one another wasn't even close to being enough to keep us together in the face of some fundamental differences over what constituted compromise and acceptance.

Plus which, ass sex once a year? Total deal breaker.

 

[larss]

Listen and make sympathetic noises. You do not actually have to do anything as such. Most of the time, they are just venting, so show an interest, make soothing platitudes and carry on as normal. Above all, agree with everything.

 

[tiger1977]

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[Moonchild22]

"How does one satisfy a women?"

How does one make a castle out of luke-warm water?

 

[Ulysses31]

She should dump your sorry ass

 

[vodkazvictim]

Listen and make sympathetic noises. You do not actually have to do anything as such. Most of the time, they are just venting, so show an interest, make soothing platitudes and carry on as normal. Above all, agree with everything.

^^ I'm going with this.

She should dump your sorry ass

Nobody would blame her.

But still... :thefinger bastard

 

[Shifty]

tldr

... why don't you just arse - fuck her vv? :dunno: