How soon is too soon to flirt with a girl after a breakup?

[STDiva]

A girl I know broke up with her boyfriend yesterday. She messaged me tonight all drunk, so I started flirting with her a bit. Jokingly at first, just to let her know she's a beautiful girl and doesn't have to be upset about being single or anything. But then she started flirting back. So we talked dirty for a while and then she went offline.

Then I started feeling guilty.

She just broke up with her boyfriend, she must be going through some sort of emotional turmoil, (even if she was drunk and didn't say anything) and then I start hitting on her. Was this too soon? I don't even mean too soon in the sense that I want to sleep with her and I could possibly be ruining my chances. I mean too soon in the sense that it could possibly be extra stress that she might not want at this moment.

:dunno:

 

[Skyraider22]

Well maybe but you know how that is I say give it a few days and she how she feels and go from there.And then there is rebound sex but that always ends terrible,She how she feels in the mornin Good Luck.:hatsoff:

 

[mrtrebus]

You know the answer, you know you did wrong coz you feel guilty. The combination of having a relationship just end & being drunk is never a good indicator of someone being in an emotionally stable state! & rebound relationships never work!

A similar thing happened to me, I started flirting with a girl way too soon after her relationship had ended. . .at her husbands funeral!

 

[gunslingingbird]

It's probably too soon to flirt with her, but it's not too soon to show her that you're there for her and to reassure her. I think that she flirted with you because, in her drunken state, she was looking to fill a void that was left by her ex.

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

Depends upon how big her tits are.

 

[STDiva]

Depends upon how big her tits are.

They're alright. Could be bigger.

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

What kind of ramifications would there be if you hit on her? Is her ex a friend of yours? How long have you known her? How clingy is she? Most important, are you compatible?

 

[STDiva]

What kind of ramifications would there be if you hit on her? Is her ex a friend of yours? How long have you known her? How clingy is she? Most important, are you compatible?

I don't know the guy.

She isn't clingy.

I've known her for 2 years. I met her on plenty of fish. We never dated, but we've been "together". I just want to be "together" a couple more times.

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

Then be the rebound guy without guilt, brother. You have my blessing. :beer:

 

[mrtrebus]

I don't know the guy.

She isn't clingy.

I've known her for 2 years. I met her on plenty of fish. We never dated, but we've been "together". I just want to be "together" a couple more times.

Mmmm, you felt guilty about flirting with her. How do you think you'll feel after you are "together" with her a couple more times?

 

[Ace Bandage]

The 20 year-old version of me is telling you to get as much ass as you can. The 27 year-old in me is telling you to be careful. If she's flirting already then she needs male attention from somewhere. That might leave the door open for the ex as well. You don't want to be involved in that situation. Give it a week at least, and see where it goes. Talk to her, make sure she's not going running back to the other guy. Then swoop in and be the knight in shining armor. Then both versions of me tell you it's okay to nail her...

 

[ChefChiTown]

A girl I know broke up with her boyfriend yesterday. She messaged me tonight all drunk, so I started flirting with her a bit. Jokingly at first, just to let her know she's a beautiful girl and doesn't have to be upset about being single or anything. But then she started flirting back. So we talked dirty for a while and then she went offline.

Then I started feeling guilty.

She just broke up with her boyfriend, she must be going through some sort of emotional turmoil, (even if she was drunk and didn't say anything) and then I start hitting on her. Was this too soon? I don't even mean too soon in the sense that I want to sleep with her and I could possibly be ruining my chances. I mean too soon in the sense that it could possibly be extra stress that she might not want at this moment.

:dunno:

Whether she's single for 15 minutes or single for a year, she's still single. So, you're not doing anything wrong by flirting with her. Shit, dudes flirt with girls who have boyfriends all the time, so why feel weird doing it when she's single, even if it's only been for a little bit?

Anyway, there's nothing wrong with flirting or even being there for her, I just wouldn't try to be a dick about the whole situation and use her emotional state as some sort of bargaining tool that can get you some ass. Just be a friend until you're sure that she's over the break-up and THEN make your move. If you make a move while she's in the so-called "rebound" state of mind, nothing is going to turn out well. So, just play it cool for a while and be a shoulder to lean on.

 

[Supafly]

If you want a real relationship, from personal experience, I can say:

Wait a month at least.

I was with a women whom I met the evening her then still husband had moved out of the house due to relationship-incompatiblity. We had a very good relationship at first, but she had not really closed the chapter in her life with her husband, all the troubles started to boil up in her and finally this destroyed our love.

Stay in contact, be a good friend and let her close the last relationship and when she's really ready, be there.

 

[sexarise! chick]

Are you friends with her ex? I think you shouldn't feel guilty. Just have fun for now and just don't get emotionally attached.

Tammy

 

[habo9]

Id shag her at least , would it be a revenge fuck by her?

If it is , get in there , the best sex you can get is when a girls looking for a revenge fuck but I wouldnt go out with her

 

[spartan7]

Never too soon. End of thread

 

[mrtrebus]

Id shag her at least , would it be a revenge fuck by her?

If it is , get in there , the best sex you can get is when a girls looking for a revenge fuck but I wouldnt go out with her

Fucking charming!!
But this is the issue, do you want to go out with her or just fuck her?
If your fine with fucking a girl who's emotionally fragile. . .go ahead!!

 

[STDiva]

FreeOnes advice is always the best advice. I'm going with the consensus and I do not feel guilty anymore. She left a message this afternoon and wants to go for lunch. Cha-Ching.

I think I forgot what guilt is over the course of my 6 hour sleep.

 

[habo9]

Fucking charming!!
But this is the issue, do you want to go out with her or just fuck her?
If your fine with fucking a girl who's emotionally fragile. . .go ahead!!

LOL looks like hes fine " fucking a girl thats emotionally fragile " :rofl:

On you go mate enjoy :thumbsup:

 

[meesterperfect]

A girl I know broke up with her boyfriend yesterday. She messaged me tonight all drunk, so I started flirting with her a bit. Jokingly at first, just to let her know she's a beautiful girl and doesn't have to be upset about being single or anything. But then she started flirting back. So we talked dirty for a while and then she went offline.

Then I started feeling guilty.

She just broke up with her boyfriend, she must be going through some sort of emotional turmoil, (even if she was drunk and didn't say anything) and then I start hitting on her. Was this too soon? I don't even mean too soon in the sense that I want to sleep with her and I could possibly be ruining my chances. I mean too soon in the sense that it could possibly be extra stress that she might not want at this moment.

:dunno:

What? Feeling Guilty?
Sorry man but are you nuts?
You owe nothing to nobody.
So the answer is.......2 minutes.

In my experiences, and I've had thousands, women have no problem destroying mens self esteem, crushing their soul and ripping out their hearts.
So don't worry so much about her feelings. Women do what they want, and if she wants anything with you she will do it.
If you don't go for it , strike while the irons hot, trust me someone else will.
STDiva I'm surprised at you.
I think you know the answer already.