If you're like me, you love doing sex to a smoking hot woman

[Ike Stain]

but as every "man of the world" knows, a smoking hot woman is not always available (either because your wallet is empty as in my case, or various other reasons such as serving on a submarine with an all male crew.)

In these instances, what is your favored alternative?

 

[lurkingdirk]

I have a lovely ritual that involves the vacuum, olive oil, sand paper, three feet of garden hose, at least 2 golf balls, and 12 midgets.

It's hard to describe without pictures, and I don't want to post pictures near the dinner hour...

 

[mrtrebus]

Starting another stupid thread on the Freeones forum!

 

[squallumz]

oh wow. an animal reference.

see ya dude! :1orglaugh

 

[Ike Stain]

Starting another stupid thread on the Freeones forum!

:lovecoupl

I have a lovely ritual that involves the vacuum, olive oil, sand paper, three feet of garden hose, at least 2 golf balls, and 12 midgets.

It's hard to describe without pictures, and I don't want to post pictures near the dinner hour...

That's the stuff!

 

[ralph furley]

what are plushies?

 

[grower_boy]

I masturbate with my hand....to smoking hot babes on Freeones!

 

[mrtrebus]

I masturbate with grower_boy's hand....to smoking hot babes on Freeones!

 

[BlueBalls]

The only really attractive women I've ever had sex with tended to have severe abandonment issues surrounding long lost fatherly figures. So yeah, once you can look past the crying and them calling out their fathers names in passing every now in some sort of last ditch attempt at defiance against said male relative, I suppose it can be quite enjoyable.

Of course the suicides that inevitable follow tend to be rather depressing. But you get over it...



I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this, but it's not going to answer the question posed by the OP, that's for sure.

 

[Ike Stain]

what are plushies?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Plush Love Mini-FAQ
Some frequently asked questions about plushophilia
Contributed by a friend (C)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

* "What is a 'plushophile'?"

A plushophile is a person who loves stuffed animals ('plushies'). Most of
us have purely platonic feelings for our plush pals, but some plushophiles
may express their love erotically. alt.sex.plushies is a newsgroup for all
people who truly love stuffed animals, each in their own personal way.

* "Why do you love stuffed animals?"

Plushies are made to be loved! Consider their visual appeal and softness,
their furriness, huggability, and cuddliness - stuffed animals are created
entirely for the purpose of bringing people happiness. Our plush friends
bring joy into our lives, and we love them for it, plain and simple.

* "That I understand, but why do you _make_love with stuffed animals?"

For the same reasons, but also because plush lovemaking can be a deeply
affecting experience. We know most people who love plushies don't express
their feelings sensually, and might be offended by the very idea. Stuffed
animals are symbols of innocence, after all. Love, in what ever form, is
nothing to be ashamed of, though, and we sincerely regard our personal
passion for plush as an equally innocent form of loving.

* "Why make love with a plushie instead of another person?"

We can love both at the same time! Admittedly, the love we feel for people
is different than the love we feel for our plushies. To join with someone
who can fully reciprocate your love is the greatest joy in life. On the
other hand, a special plush critter can be an ideal companion: a warm,
huggable presence who will always be there for you, through thick and thin.
No plush lover will ever leave you, cheat, lie, or betray you, break your
heart, give you a disease, or hurt you in any way. Plush companions can
bring a wonderful, unfettered happiness into your life, and, if you're open
to it, a wonderful lovemaking experience, as well.

* "How do you make love with plushies?"

If you, yourself, truly love a special stuffed animal, chances are you've
already done most of what we do when we make love with our plushmates: we
hug and pet them, cuddle and nuzzle them, kiss them. Softness, warmth, and
closeness can bring on arousal, and we just follow our whimseys from there.
What you do doesn't have to be erotic, only what feels comfortable for you.
How you learn and express your own form of plush lovemaking is entirely a
matter of personal discovery. We can attest - the Joys of Plush are well
worth discovering, and sharing with others. That's what alt.sex.plushies is
all about.

 

[squallumz]

:ban2:

 

[Ike Stain]

:ban2:

Hey, don't shoot the messenger.

 

[ragincaucasian]

when smoking hot womman not available, I set fire to penis and put out with cinder block

 

[Ike Stain]

That which does not kill me, right?

 

[grower_boy]

I masturbate with grower_boy's hand....to smoking hot babes on Freeones!

It's such a short process....I forget that you even use it! :1orglaugh

 

[TheOrangeCat]

'doing sex' .. have you morphed into Gloyster?

 

[squallumz]

'doing sex' .. have you morphed into Gloyster?

same guy, larger font.

 

[PirateKing]

 

[Ike Stain]

'doing sex' .. have you morphed into Gloyster?

I've never been comfortable with "having sex" being used for the act. How do you possess an activity?

To me "having sex" means my wang. (Not the computer, but my sweet human sex-penis.)

"Doing sex" is so much more accurate, wouldn't you say?

 

[TheOrangeCat]

I've never been comfortable with "having sex" being used for the act. How do you possess an activity?

To me "having sex" means my wang. (Not the computer, but my sweet human sex-penis.)

"Doing sex" is so much more accurate, wouldn't you say?

'Performing' maybe, but 'having' is not necessarily an exclusively possessive term. Two people can 'have'. Just because you refer to your side of the 'have' in isolation does not exclude the mutuality of the descriptor or sentiment.