It just dont make no sense grrr why

[thebear247]

i had an awesome day took my neice for to the fair for the first time in her life she got to ride a pony eat some cotten candy got 8 stuff animals i spent well over 200 dollars on her.
i got home made some dinner for us and check my phone my child hood friend and buddy of 21 years killed himself this moring it hit hard man he was like familly hell his first kiss was from my older sister .
then i find out a good friend in pussy+dickdenice denise and her beautiful daughter passed away.

why take them from us they were good people why so much death what is going on between that and my dieing aunt i feel like im lossing my battle with my sanity .

 

[Ace Bandage]

There's really no rhyme or reason for anything. That's the bitch of it. Sometimes, life is just unfair for absolutely no reason. The best you can do every day is be thankful you're still here. Sorry for your loss, Bear. There really isn't anything myself or anyone can say to ease the pain in this situation. But you have my condolences...

 

[biomech]

I have no good answer for you, everyone has their time.
I lost a real good friend of mine to suicide, she was an amazing person. But she was extremely unhappy, I tried evrything I could and still I couldnt stop it from happening.
There are some people on here that dont believe in God, but for me everything happens for a reason, it might not make sense but I think there is aplan for everyone.
Bear I am deeply saddened for your loss, but things will get better, live your life to the fullest in memory of those who have passed.

 

[thebear247]

thank you and sorry just venting that is alot to take in for one day i just feel very numb and lost right now

 

[ChefChiTown]

thank you and sorry just venting that is alot to take in for one day i just feel very numb and lost right now

That's how I felt when one of my good friends committed suicide too. Unfortunately, everybody feels that way after someone close to them takes their own life. I made a post in a different thread a while ago when someone was asking for advice on how to cope, so I'm going to copy it here...

This is a really tough situation to deal with. About a year ago, one of my best friends killed herself. Her boyfriend (one of my good friends and the father of her child) died of a having a completely random hole open in his heart. The day after his funeral, she swallowed a crazy amount of pills and her body was found the following day in her apartment, with her baby in the crib next to her.

For a long, long time, I was pretty emotionally messed up from this. I did the same thing, asking myself "why" and wondering what the hell happened. I questioned myself and wondered if there was anything I could've done to prevent it from happening. For a while, I was a pretty big emotional wreck.

The sad reality is this...there is no answer to "why" it happens, it just does. No matter how long or hard you think about it and try to figure it out, you will never find an answer that pleases you. It will just constantly bug the shit out of you if you search for a "good" reason as to why someone you care about commited suicide.

My best advice is to just realize that there is/was absolutely nothing you can do to change what happened. It's one of those situations where you just have to accept the fact that something completely shitty happened, and just move on. I'm just speaking from personal experience. Obviously, you have to figure out the best way to deal with it on your own and what will be best for you.

Best of luck.

 

[gunslingingbird]

There's really no reason why things happen. They just do. There's really nothing we can do about it. We just have to grit our teeth and bear it. The company of loved ones can help sometimes, but, in the end, we have to face life and we have to move on. Sometimes that can take a while. I'm sorry things have turned out so badly for you lately, Bear. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that our thoughts are with you.

 

[biomech]

Bear, you have no nees to feel sorry, venting is good.
Sometimes just getting things of your chest is good to do, it is an emotional release.
Good luck with things, we all appreciate you here. :hatsoff:

 

[Rey C.]

Sorry to hear this all hit you at once, Bear. And no, there's nothing wrong with venting. It helps to get it out. Best of luck and hang tough.

 

[feller469]

Bear, one of the best things about this site is there is real emotion here. Some positive, some negative, but all real. I appreciate you feeling this is an OK place to vent. It helps me keep things in perspective and prepare me for possible situations I may have to deal with. You were one of the first here to recognize me and I will be forever thankful for that. I don't know if there are any words I can type that will help you, but if there were, I would do it.

this may sound weird, but thanks for venting.

 

[titsrock]

All we can do in our lives is be the best son/daughter/spouse/friend/coworker/citizen we can be. Treat each person as if they are special because everyone is special in his/her own way.

That's it.

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

About twenty years ago one of the deacons at my church had a son who committed suicide in the family garage. You know, by carbon monoxide asphyxiation.

I knew him, that is to say, I knew who he was and would say hello to him in the hallway on the way to class. I was actually pretty close to his younger sister as we both went to the same religious education classes.

Aside from his father's position in the church, his family was very active in the community and everyone in the Beaverdale (yes Beaverdale, get over it) area of Des Moines knew and respected the family.

Anyway, we belonged to Holy Trinity Catholic church in that part of town. At the time, suicide was (and in a lot of places, still is) considered to be the greatest sin a person could commit because they wasted God's greatest gift to us. Life. Victims of suicide were not allowed to have their funerals within the church (thankfully the church has come to realize that most suicides are committed when people are at their most vulnerable and the act itself is a symptom of sickness. Not a slap in God's face.) I digress. The parish priest must have worried what kind of backlash would have occurred if he'd followed doctrine and allowed the service to be held there.

And I'm glad he did. It was, at first, a somber occasion filled with the usual pomp of a Catholic rite. But when Chris' (I finally remembered his name. How big a dick would I have been if I couldn't have done that?) friends and family eulogized him, it became a celebration of his life, talents and relationships. I learned about him and his effect on those who cared about him.

It's sad to think of people we think we know in general terms and then only after they pass we get a glimpse into the way they truly are. My immediate reaction to suicide is, "How fucking selfish can someone be?" Shortly followed by the realization that they are tormented by their own perceptions of failure, self worth or inadequacy.

I've understood the desire to end all the pain and turmoil life can throw at someone and when it got to the point where I'd seriously considered it, I called my Mom. I know it sounds stupid but the calming, nurturing voice on the other end of the phone has pulled me back from the precipice more than once.

When I ponder the great questions of life like why I am here I often travel back in my mind to that same religious ed class that I took with Chris little sister. "Because God loves us and wants us to be happy." It used to be in the Catechism but now I'm not so sure. But rest assured, my friend, that is the immutable truth. "God loves you and wants you to be happy." Me too. Take care of yourself.

 

[Wainkerr99]

It never rains it pours. Except here nowadays it is not even raining much. But that is besides the point.

I lost a dear friend I knew in the Army. I kept wanting to call him after we did our service. The day I did, the secretary at the place where he had been told me he had committed suicide.

He was a Judge.

It took me, in fact, I still rue the day I did not call earlier. I feel less responsible with the passing of time, but, in a way, I know I could have done something. In the Army, I saw him drop something once. He did not know I was looking. He just stood there looking at the shattered object, sad, resigned to his fate.

It would seem the depression, the loss of faith in his life had begun there already.

I myself have wanted to end it all a few times. I am glad I didn't. Life is worth fighting for. Things will and do get better. It is just a matter of holding on, fighting on, with
a little help
from my friends. Or, with a bit of help from family that arrive in one's life at just the right time when almost everyone else is sneering at you or has turned their back on you.

I am so sorry, Bear. We do think of you, like gunslingingbird said.

 

[STDiva]

Bear, you have my condolences.

 

[Marlo Manson]

To many times things come about in our lives that hit you in the head (mentally) things that most people don't have to deal with on a daily basis, things that, are in a couple of words "just plain fucked up" well every so often those days visit, you never know when there coming, you never know what the situation is gonna be or what its gonna bring, nor do we know the dire consequence's of its arrival, you just know you dread that day, and somehow, when it comes to visit, unwanted, you have too deal with it & process it, know that despite what you think, there's nothing you could've done differently to change things, so often when your having a great day with your niece, having a ball, living life, elsewhere life is happening also, life that we dread, the presence of life's departure of those we love, those we admire, & those we think we can't live without, I have dealt with all these scenario's sometime in the past, and although it seems unbearable, life trudges on, we mourn, we remember, & we live for those peoples memories the best we can.

I send my condolences to you bear my friend, but like I said, while you were having a great time with your niece, elsewhere, life was happening as well, you just have to remember, you couldn't do anything about what happened to any of the people that affected you yesterday, but hard as it is, you have to remember your niece had a great day oblivious to anything that happened, and that's how you get by. remember the good times. although you wish differently theres nothing you could've done to change what happened yesterday. you have my thoughts & prayers bear my friend, some days are harder than others, you just have to deal with the hard ones by thinking positive & not dwelling on what you couldn't change. if this could have been a short message I would have opted for that, but sometimes long days require a long message & its called life. ttyl, & take care my friend, things will get better with time. :angels::angels::angels::bowdown::hatsoff:

 

[Alyssa Rose]

Bear, I am so so sorry I wish there was something I or any of us could say that could just make it all better but there isn't. Just know my thoughts are with you, & I like Marlo said, your niece was riding ponies and eatin cotton candy and having an amazing day because of you, you have to grab that and hold on to it because children have a way of making us feel at least a little better, like there just might be hope for tomorrow. If theres anything I can do just let me know:angels:

 

[Skyraider22]

i had an awesome day took my neice for to the fair for the first time in her life she got to ride a pony eat some cotten candy got 8 stuff animals i spent well over 200 dollars on her.
i got home made some dinner for us and check my phone my child hood friend and buddy of 21 years killed himself this moring it hit hard man he was like familly hell his first kiss was from my older sister .
then i find out a good friend in pussy+dickdenice denise and her beautiful daughter passed away.

why take them from us they were good people why so much death what is going on between that and my dieing aunt i feel like im lossing my battle with my sanity .

I ask my self that question and then I thought God will not put more than what you can bea on our shoulders.I'm just really glad you are talking about it.I know it hurts but you will feel so much better and just remember you will always have an ear to listen or eyes to read for that matter you did the most important part and you was able to vent you did not hold it all on the inside.Like I said anytime you want to talk I'm here to listen I might not get it when you first post it but I will be there so Bear I tell you what my heart is with you,my heart is with all you guys so keep your head up and stay strong.Your fellow Freeones Brother.Skyraider:lovecoupl

 

[D-rock]

I've known more than my share of good people that have died sooner than they should have. It's made all the worse because it seems all the scumbags and jerks I've know will probably find some way to live forever. Reality isn't fair. Not only isn't it fair but it can be downright cruel and rarely benevolent. When it comes down to it we just have to take one step at a time, do our best, be as good as people as we can and conduct yourself as well as we can going forward. If you let it break your spirit then all the misery in life that tries to destroy you wins at that point.

 

[Legzman]

nevermind