Straight Shooter
1,000 posts to go for my own user title!
If you were being held hostage, who would you want to come rescue you?
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Jason Bourne or Jack Bauer?
- Thread starter Straight Shooter
- Start date
PlasmaTwa2
The Second-Hottest Man in my Mother's Basement
James Bond
thepornguy
Will you help me name my penis?
Jason Bourne. He could save me in less than 24 hours.
lurkingdirk
I'm too lazy to set a usertitle.
I'd prefer a hybrid Jesus-Rambo
roronoa3000
Banned
Bourne.
Bond sucks and Bauer is retired.
Bond sucks and Bauer is retired.
vodkazvictim
Why save the world, when you can rule it?
Bond's better than both.
Or he would be if he existed. We know he doesn't exist because no man is that good with women.
Or he would be if he existed. We know he doesn't exist because no man is that good with women.
Freq3
Expect Nothing and Appreciate Everything
100 reasons to vote for Jack :1orglaugh
1 Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction. 114 7.57
2 There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. The first two are Jack Bauer, and the third one is heart attack from hearing Jack Bauer is coming for them. 72 7.49
3 On Jack Bauer's Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependents. 50 7.42
4 Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Jack Bauer see the glass as a deadly weapon. 79 7.42
5 When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death. 200 7.41
6 When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate. When bad things happen to bad people, it’s probably Jack Bauer. 111 7.36
7 Withholding information from Jack Bauer is now classified as a suicide attempt. 81 7.35
8 The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives. 640 7.3
9 Jack Bauer doesn't need a receipt to return something to a store, just a gun. 68 7.24
10 Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was. 425 7.06
11 Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them." 461 7.04
12 When Jack Bauer ran out of ammo, he caught 3 bullets in his chest and used them to reload. 171 7.03
13 Jack Bauer thinks the word mercy just means "quick interrogation." 56 7.02
14 If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice. 3892 6.96
15 The only reason Jack gave Nina mouth to mouth in Season 2 was because he had to kill her himself. 97 6.96
16 The 2007 budget for the US Military covers Jack Bauer, two pistols and four billion rounds of ammunition. 168 6.95
17 Life doesn't give Jack Bauer lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants. 161 6.93
18 If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12". 1291 6.93
19 Jack once shot himeself 10 times, just to prove 50 cent is a bitch. He proceeded to wrestle an aligator while talking to Chloe about schematics.
169 6.87
20 Jack Bauer doesn't need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry. 260 6.86
21 As a child, Jack Bauer taught his dog to play dead...once. 69 6.86
22 Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer. 2004 6.85
23 Jack Bauer is the only human in the world with the ability to make Chloe O'Brien drop the personality disorder and patch him through. 244 6.84
24 There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television. 768 6.82
25 Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys. 3792 6.79
26 Jack Bauer definitely loves his daughter; he wouldn't let anyone else who made that many stupid decisions live. 71 6.79
27 Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man. 3521 6.77
28 The state of California plans to reduce violent crime by changing the method of capital punishment from lethal injection to Jack Bauer. 440 6.76
29 Jack Bauer let himself be drugged, beaten and captured inside a crate on a Chinese ship heading out of the USA with no way for help to find him. Now he has them right where we wants them. 203 6.75
30 Jack Bauer does not get taken prisoner. He puts himself in a disadvantageous position so as to make his next several killings more dramatic. 187 6.72
31 My husband doesn't wish he was Jack Bauer. He wishes I was Jack Bauer. 204 6.71
32 ...and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, "I'll take it from here." 106 6.71
33 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight. 3551 6.71
34 Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. 3046 6.7
35 If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef. 1648 6.7
36 When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back. 1639 6.7
37 If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life. 3535 6.7
38 When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade. 3759 6.68
39 Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun. 784 6.68
40 If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it. 335 6.67
41 Only Jack Bauer can fly a plane from the luggage compartment. 286 6.66
42 When asked what he got on his S.A.T's, Jack Bauer promptly responded "Blood." 78 6.65
43 The only reason the Chinese kept Jack alive is so that he could bring down the population. 204 6.65
44 Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone. 716 6.64
45 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Jack Bauer would meanwhile do something important. 59 6.63
46 Jack Bauer can break anyone and anything, but he will always break the protocol first. 194 6.62
47 Jack Bauer doesn't have a firewall on his PC. He has a Bauerwall. It's basically just a JPEG of Jack Bauer. No virus has ever attacked Jack Bauer's PC. Ever. 207 6.62
48 Jack Bauer is currently involved in a complex law suit with the California Department of Justice due to their attempt to ban Jack Bauer as an "Assault Weapon". Jack maintains he is primarily used for hunting and target shooting, and is quite safe to have around families. But statistics don't lie. 116 6.62
49 "You don't know Jack" is a blessing among terrorists. 107 6.62
50 Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you. 3147 6.61
51 Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. 2868 6.6
52 If Jack Bauer gives you his word, return it immediately and run. 199 6.59
53 It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed. 1021 6.58
54 After Season 6 of 24, the Chinese will be on the Endangered Species List. 115 6.58
55 When Christopher Henderson tried to shoot Jack, his gun was, in fact, loaded. The bullets were just too scared to come out. 192 6.58
56 A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack. 382 6.57
57 Superman is one of the few individuals who could possibly survive a confrontation with Jack Bauer. But that is only because he can fly away. 82 6.56
58 On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence. 68 6.56
59 Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that pussy went to the hospital first. 896 6.54
60 When Jack Bauer used Herbal Essences, the shampoo had an orgasm. 73 6.53
61 Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves. 2478 6.53
62 Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men. 2720 6.52
63 When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..." 716 6.51
64 Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer. 3717 6.5
65 On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence. 1029 6.5
66 In order to control illegal immigration in the United States, the president installed cardboard cutouts of Jack Bauer along the US/Mexico border. 617 6.5
67 RIP Edgar If you see this give it a 10. Just cuz it's what Edgar would have wanted. 915 6.49
68 Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours." 753 6.48
69 MTV once tried to 'Punk' Kiefer Sutherland by staging a robery in a store. Sutherland smiled and pulled out his SIG and shot 3 actors in the head. This is why there was a new cast on Punk'd after season one. 138 6.48
70 Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness. 1551 6.48
71 Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry. 3274 6.45
72 When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun. 1413 6.45
73 American Idol is only popular because it has a commercial for 24. 315 6.44
74 There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths. 1596 6.44
75 In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your life? 2865 6.44
76 Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away. 3547 6.42
77 Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants. 1155 6.41
78 Kim Bauer was an accident. Not even the pill can stop Jack Bauer. 801 6.41
79 Jack Bauer arrested RoboCop. Think about that. 91 6.41
80 Going to China is all part of Jack Bauer's master plan to rid the world of Communism. 205 6.4
81 When 24 airs on the Spanish channel everyones lines are translated except for Jack's. The reason for this, nobody speaks for Jack Bauer. 146 6.39
82 Jack Bauer has the heart of a terrorist. He keeps it in a jar on his desk. 141 6.39
83 Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes. 864 6.39
84 Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day." 828 6.39
85 When Special Forces raided an afghan training camp, they found an empty camp and a pirated copy of 24 Season 4. 111 6.39
86 Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's fucking Jack Bauer. 555 6.38
87 Don't ever ask Jack Bauer what is going on. He'll explain in the car. 725 6.38
88 Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive. 2593 6.37
89 If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus. 1622 6.37
90 Jack Bauer has never caught a cold. How do we know? Colds still exist. 350 6.37
91 When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help. 2562 6.37
92 Jack Bauer doesn't have a refresh button on his web browser. All events take place in real time. 62 6.37
93 Most pilots need 5,000 feet of runway to land a plane. Jack Bauer needs 100 feet and a gun. 169 6.37
94 Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead." 1580 6.37
95 Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it. 2840 6.36
96 If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Stalin and Hitler so they wouldn't have to bear witness to what he'd do to Nina. 761 6.36
97 Jack Bauer once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands. 534 6.36
98 In the 18 months where Jack Bauer was presumed dead, Tony Almeida was put in a coma, Michelle and David Palmer were killed, a major hurricane raveged the Gulf Coast, and Rob Schneider made another movie. See what happens when Bauer isn't around? 895 6.36
99 Jack Bauer doesn't take fingerprints, he takes fingers. 382 6.36
100 Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
1 Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction. 114 7.57
2 There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. The first two are Jack Bauer, and the third one is heart attack from hearing Jack Bauer is coming for them. 72 7.49
3 On Jack Bauer's Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependents. 50 7.42
4 Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Jack Bauer see the glass as a deadly weapon. 79 7.42
5 When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death. 200 7.41
6 When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate. When bad things happen to bad people, it’s probably Jack Bauer. 111 7.36
7 Withholding information from Jack Bauer is now classified as a suicide attempt. 81 7.35
8 The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives. 640 7.3
9 Jack Bauer doesn't need a receipt to return something to a store, just a gun. 68 7.24
10 Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was. 425 7.06
11 Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them." 461 7.04
12 When Jack Bauer ran out of ammo, he caught 3 bullets in his chest and used them to reload. 171 7.03
13 Jack Bauer thinks the word mercy just means "quick interrogation." 56 7.02
14 If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice. 3892 6.96
15 The only reason Jack gave Nina mouth to mouth in Season 2 was because he had to kill her himself. 97 6.96
16 The 2007 budget for the US Military covers Jack Bauer, two pistols and four billion rounds of ammunition. 168 6.95
17 Life doesn't give Jack Bauer lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants. 161 6.93
18 If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12". 1291 6.93
19 Jack once shot himeself 10 times, just to prove 50 cent is a bitch. He proceeded to wrestle an aligator while talking to Chloe about schematics.
169 6.87
20 Jack Bauer doesn't need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry. 260 6.86
21 As a child, Jack Bauer taught his dog to play dead...once. 69 6.86
22 Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer. 2004 6.85
23 Jack Bauer is the only human in the world with the ability to make Chloe O'Brien drop the personality disorder and patch him through. 244 6.84
24 There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television. 768 6.82
25 Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys. 3792 6.79
26 Jack Bauer definitely loves his daughter; he wouldn't let anyone else who made that many stupid decisions live. 71 6.79
27 Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man. 3521 6.77
28 The state of California plans to reduce violent crime by changing the method of capital punishment from lethal injection to Jack Bauer. 440 6.76
29 Jack Bauer let himself be drugged, beaten and captured inside a crate on a Chinese ship heading out of the USA with no way for help to find him. Now he has them right where we wants them. 203 6.75
30 Jack Bauer does not get taken prisoner. He puts himself in a disadvantageous position so as to make his next several killings more dramatic. 187 6.72
31 My husband doesn't wish he was Jack Bauer. He wishes I was Jack Bauer. 204 6.71
32 ...and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, "I'll take it from here." 106 6.71
33 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight. 3551 6.71
34 Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. 3046 6.7
35 If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef. 1648 6.7
36 When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back. 1639 6.7
37 If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life. 3535 6.7
38 When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade. 3759 6.68
39 Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun. 784 6.68
40 If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it. 335 6.67
41 Only Jack Bauer can fly a plane from the luggage compartment. 286 6.66
42 When asked what he got on his S.A.T's, Jack Bauer promptly responded "Blood." 78 6.65
43 The only reason the Chinese kept Jack alive is so that he could bring down the population. 204 6.65
44 Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone. 716 6.64
45 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Jack Bauer would meanwhile do something important. 59 6.63
46 Jack Bauer can break anyone and anything, but he will always break the protocol first. 194 6.62
47 Jack Bauer doesn't have a firewall on his PC. He has a Bauerwall. It's basically just a JPEG of Jack Bauer. No virus has ever attacked Jack Bauer's PC. Ever. 207 6.62
48 Jack Bauer is currently involved in a complex law suit with the California Department of Justice due to their attempt to ban Jack Bauer as an "Assault Weapon". Jack maintains he is primarily used for hunting and target shooting, and is quite safe to have around families. But statistics don't lie. 116 6.62
49 "You don't know Jack" is a blessing among terrorists. 107 6.62
50 Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you. 3147 6.61
51 Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. 2868 6.6
52 If Jack Bauer gives you his word, return it immediately and run. 199 6.59
53 It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed. 1021 6.58
54 After Season 6 of 24, the Chinese will be on the Endangered Species List. 115 6.58
55 When Christopher Henderson tried to shoot Jack, his gun was, in fact, loaded. The bullets were just too scared to come out. 192 6.58
56 A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack. 382 6.57
57 Superman is one of the few individuals who could possibly survive a confrontation with Jack Bauer. But that is only because he can fly away. 82 6.56
58 On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence. 68 6.56
59 Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that pussy went to the hospital first. 896 6.54
60 When Jack Bauer used Herbal Essences, the shampoo had an orgasm. 73 6.53
61 Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves. 2478 6.53
62 Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men. 2720 6.52
63 When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..." 716 6.51
64 Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer. 3717 6.5
65 On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence. 1029 6.5
66 In order to control illegal immigration in the United States, the president installed cardboard cutouts of Jack Bauer along the US/Mexico border. 617 6.5
67 RIP Edgar If you see this give it a 10. Just cuz it's what Edgar would have wanted. 915 6.49
68 Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours." 753 6.48
69 MTV once tried to 'Punk' Kiefer Sutherland by staging a robery in a store. Sutherland smiled and pulled out his SIG and shot 3 actors in the head. This is why there was a new cast on Punk'd after season one. 138 6.48
70 Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness. 1551 6.48
71 Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry. 3274 6.45
72 When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun. 1413 6.45
73 American Idol is only popular because it has a commercial for 24. 315 6.44
74 There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths. 1596 6.44
75 In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your life? 2865 6.44
76 Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away. 3547 6.42
77 Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants. 1155 6.41
78 Kim Bauer was an accident. Not even the pill can stop Jack Bauer. 801 6.41
79 Jack Bauer arrested RoboCop. Think about that. 91 6.41
80 Going to China is all part of Jack Bauer's master plan to rid the world of Communism. 205 6.4
81 When 24 airs on the Spanish channel everyones lines are translated except for Jack's. The reason for this, nobody speaks for Jack Bauer. 146 6.39
82 Jack Bauer has the heart of a terrorist. He keeps it in a jar on his desk. 141 6.39
83 Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes. 864 6.39
84 Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day." 828 6.39
85 When Special Forces raided an afghan training camp, they found an empty camp and a pirated copy of 24 Season 4. 111 6.39
86 Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's fucking Jack Bauer. 555 6.38
87 Don't ever ask Jack Bauer what is going on. He'll explain in the car. 725 6.38
88 Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive. 2593 6.37
89 If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus. 1622 6.37
90 Jack Bauer has never caught a cold. How do we know? Colds still exist. 350 6.37
91 When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help. 2562 6.37
92 Jack Bauer doesn't have a refresh button on his web browser. All events take place in real time. 62 6.37
93 Most pilots need 5,000 feet of runway to land a plane. Jack Bauer needs 100 feet and a gun. 169 6.37
94 Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead." 1580 6.37
95 Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it. 2840 6.36
96 If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Stalin and Hitler so they wouldn't have to bear witness to what he'd do to Nina. 761 6.36
97 Jack Bauer once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands. 534 6.36
98 In the 18 months where Jack Bauer was presumed dead, Tony Almeida was put in a coma, Michelle and David Palmer were killed, a major hurricane raveged the Gulf Coast, and Rob Schneider made another movie. See what happens when Bauer isn't around? 895 6.36
99 Jack Bauer doesn't take fingerprints, he takes fingers. 382 6.36
100 Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
roronoa3000
Banned
Bauer saved America 7 times in only 7 days and rested afterward from the poisoning, bullet wounds, cracked bones and knife wounds. He is essentially God.
Bourne is basically a white Bruce Lee but smarter, sneaker, meaner and with guns.
Bond is as intimidating as a muppet, pretty much only uses go-go gadgets and is a pretty boy.
Bourne is basically a white Bruce Lee but smarter, sneaker, meaner and with guns.
Bond is as intimidating as a muppet, pretty much only uses go-go gadgets and is a pretty boy.
Ace Boobtoucher
Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
Maxwell Smart
~~whimsy~~
I'm too lazy to set a usertitle.
Shaft. Because when he saves me he will get me laid so I can get my life back on track.
LaLiLuLeLohan
I changed my middle-name to Freeones
Stupid question. I'd bite my own tongue off, bleed to death and come back to the mortal realm with 999 oni who have been starved for 9,999 years.
After that I'd piss fire, ejaculate lava (forming fertile islands with beaches where waves refuse to break) and then fly back into the center of the galaxy at three times the speed of light; devouring space-time itself.
After that I'd piss fire, ejaculate lava (forming fertile islands with beaches where waves refuse to break) and then fly back into the center of the galaxy at three times the speed of light; devouring space-time itself.
