New stimulus plan unveiled!

[CunningStunts]

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:


Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q.. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.


Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen of it.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:


* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka ..


* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.


* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China ...



* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...



* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..


* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan ..



* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


Instead, keep the money in America by:


1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos..


(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!


No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

 

[Facetious]

but... but... it doesn't go far enough! We demand quarterly stimulus checks . . no, wait, monthly checks! :cussing:

I hate gimmicks.

 

[Trident1]

Jeez not another freakin stimulus plan.:bang::bang::bang:

 

[CunningStunts]

Jeez not another freakin stimulus plan.:bang::bang::bang:

It's a joke...

Or is it?

Life is butter dream...

 

[Hot Mega]

but... but... it doesn't go far enough! We demand quarterly stimulus checks . . no, wait, monthly checks! :cussing:

I hate gimmicks.

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:


Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q.. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.


Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen of it.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:


* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka ..


* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.


* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China ...



* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...



* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..


* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan ..



* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


Instead, keep the money in America by:


1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos..


(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!


No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

So how did the two of you spend your 3 and 6 hundred dollar chunks of credit borrowed from you Bush doled out in REALITY according to your plan C/S:eek::eek::eek::1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

(Didn't see that one coming did ya..?:angels

 

[maildude]

But the last time I bought a handjob, she wouldn't take U.S. currency. :dunno:

 

[CunningStunts]

So how did the two of you spend your 3 and 6 hundred dollar chunks of credit borrowed from you Bush doled out in REALITY according to your plan C/S:eek::eek::eek::1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

(Didn't see that one coming did ya..?:angels

I didn't get one... and if I did, I'd have spent it on the prostitute/beer/ballgame combo!

 

[Member442]

MailDude did you happen to be in Canada at the time. Your money just isn't worth taking anymore sorry. :tongue:

 

[Hot Mega]

I didn't get one... and if I did, I'd have spent it on the prostitute/beer/ballgame combo!

You must have been in that wagon ol Trident keeps harping on then...

 

[lurkingdirk]

Spending your money at Walmart means the money goes to China?

What about the local people that are employed by Walmart? What about the jobs it creates in the US when you buy from Walmart? Not just at the store, but the truckers that bring it, the people that pump their gas, the people that run the distribution warehouses, the people that repair forklifts, blah blah blah.

Seems like spending your money at Walmart may do SOME good for the US after all...

 

[Legzman]

I'll take some more free money! It actually fucks us up more than it helps, as it increases inflation exponentially, but fuck it, I wanna get paid!!!

 

[Trident1]

It's a joke...

Or is it?

Life is butter dream...

Got me scared man!

For a minute I really thought Ozombie was going to do it.

 

[Hot Mega]

Got me scared man!

For a minute I really thought Ozombie was going to do it.

We know.

But what we're wondering is if you were scared when Bush actually DID IT? Hmmm...hmmmm??? :o

 

[Trident1]

We know.

But what we're wondering is if you were scared when Bush actually DID IT? Hmmm...hmmmm??? :o

My answer is no.

 

[Hot Mega]

My answer is no.

Again, we 'no'.

 

[meesterperfect]

I approve.

 

[Straight Shooter]

We do need another stimulus and Obama shouldn't be afraid to say it. Sure it would be very unpopular but he shouldn't give a shit what the people think. What the hell do the people know? they're idiots. Forty-four percent can't define the bill of rights, seventy-three percent don't know why we fought the cold war, hell 38% can't even pass the citizenship test. Obama needs to learn that it's not the most popular guy that gets the job done.

 

[Petra]

So how did the two of you spend your 3 and 6 hundred dollar chunks of credit borrowed from you Bush doled out in REALITY according to your plan C/S:eek::eek::eek::1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

(Didn't see that one coming did ya..?:angels

I can tell you how I spent mine! A good $12 went to the bank to convert it to euros then another $35 went into cashing the check. At the time the exchange rate sucked so I was able to buy 2 liters of milk and a loaf of bread.

Really stupid that they sent it to overseas citizens, but I guess if we have to file (which is idiotic also) we're eligable for stimulus benefits.

 

[Facetious]

^ Ha haaaa! our government is so out of control, it's a laughingstock! Somebody recently said that they're (they being our govt.) everywhere they don't need to be and nowhere to be found where they should be... there's a lot of truth to that if you think about it.

So how did the two of you spend your 3 and 6 hundred dollar chunks of credit borrowed from you Bush doled out in REALITY according to your plan C/S:eek::eek::eek::1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

(Didn't see that one coming did ya..?:angels

I gave it right back to my taxman for my annual tax prep fee.
How fucked up is that, you loyally pay your taxes every year a-n-d you have to pay to pay your taxes.

So much for We the People... why do we take this shit? :ak47:

 

[smoknn]

thanks cs i was going to go stand by the mailbox and wait on mine..but you just crunched my vision..and i dont do hookers...however..i know this nice little place you can go to..and these little 19 yo oriental girls will give you a good massage (with a happy ending)...ahh..that wont work..gotta think american here!