Sex: "If I Only Knew Then What I Know Now..."

[manwithouthat]

I've heard my father say this. I've read many of you posters saying this.

But what, precisely, do you know now? What would have made the difference?

I'm closing in on 40. I look back on a lot of "could've/would've" scenarios from high school, college and shortly thereafter. Sure. I know a lot more now than I did then - but I'm not exactly sure, with my present knowledge, what I would have done differently...

How 'bout you?

Now that you're old and wise, give us a real life (or potential) sexual scenario that would have had a different ending if you could go back in time...

 

[power-san]

I would have applied myself more in school and banged more chicks.

 

[Elwood70]

In my case;it's not so much what I know now as opposed to then,it's the fact that I'm so much more confident about things in general.

I basically didn't really grow into the person I am now until my mid to late 20s,I guess I'm a late bloomer,but if I went back,I can't begin to speculate how things could have been.I can say this much:The "social hierarchy" and the cliques wouldn't have stopped me....

It's amazing what seems so important at one time can be rendered so meaningless later.

 

[manwithouthat]

Maybe I didn't explain myself very well.

I, too, would have "applied myself more in school and banged more chicks" - in addition to disregarding "social cliques."

However, this isn't what I was referring to by "If I only knew then what I know now..."

Let me give an example or two:

In high school, I had a girl ask me over to her place as her parents were at work (I remember her dad was a HUGE guy - and a cop). I rode my bike over to find that it was her and two other girls. I could tell that something was up.

She put a movie in the VCR and it was "Reform School Girls." They were looking at me as if I was supposed to whip out my boner, read poetry, or run out of the place.

I was 16. They were 14. Yeah, yeah, yeah - I now know about the legal repercussions. But who thinks about that stuff when you're a teenager?

I distinctly remember the sexual tension in the air - and the fact that her dad would have shot me through the head.

So, knowing what you know now, what would have you done?

Give me some other scenarios of this nature that you experienced - that, with the benefit of a decade-or-two's hindsite, you would've done differently...

(for the record, I left thinking that there would be many more opportunities later in life - without the fear of bodily harm and/or legal ramifications)

 

[NavyBlue]

I would definitely have banged more chicks. I only had 1 gf other than my wife and I had sex with just 3 girls my whole life. I did have chances to have sex with few girls who were willing at the time but I didn't have any feelings for them so I passed. I would have taken more chances and gotten some one night stands or short flings.


Self confidence had a lot to do with low number of girls I banged too.. now I am more comfortable with girls in general and I would have used it to get into more pants if I was still single. But, I don't ever see myself being unfaithful to my wife so I can get more pussies.

 

[Will E Worm]

Using the word "banged" means you don't love the person.

Yes, I said it. :tongue:

 

[manwithouthat]

"Using the word "banged" means you don't love the person."

Sarcasm, I hope. It's very hard to tell via text.

 

[Ashleigh]

Well, there are definitely a few dudes who I WOULDN'T have fucked....lol.

If I could do things differently, my number of partners would probably be cut in half because they were either shitty lays, or just guys I look back on and think "wtf was I thinking?"

 

[Legzman]

Yea I have some "coulda, woulda, shoulda" moments from highschool. With present knowledge, I'da fucked far more women back in the day. But fuck it, the past is the past!

 

[manwithouthat]

With present knowledge, I'da fucked far more women back in the day.

Dammit! That's what I'm asking you! What "present knowledge" would you have used?!?!?!

Would you have put on Barry White? Would you have said, "Suck me, beautiful." Would you have grabbed a boob and said it was go time?!?!?

This is exactly what I mean! What, specifically, do you know now that would have helped back then?

The only thing that I think that I know now that I didn't know then is that sex not that big of a deal. Back then, getting to "third base" - nonetheless a "homerun" - was a colossal event. If I could go back in time, I just would have simply pushed it a little more and said, "Hey, let's just have fun. Who cares!"

Is this what every old man means when he says "If I only knew then...."

Note: Though closely related, this isn't about regrets concerning one's sexual past. It's more like the proverbial "time machine." Knowing what I know now, I would've said _________. I would've done ____________.

Get it?

 

[Crazy4theBrat]

I sounds like the original poster is looking for us to tell what "techniques" or "lines" or similar things that we think we know now that we didn't know back then.

For myself, I often say the phrase "if I only knew then what I know now..." too. The thing is, it's not the techniques, or come ons that I've heard of over the years that I would change.

There is only one real thing I would change. If I could go back in time to when I was in high school and college, I would know that I have reason to be more confident, and I would GO FOR IT more often. A lot more often. That's all it would take, but things would be very different.

When I was young, I seldom got turned down because I seldom put myself out there in the position where it could happen. If I could go back, I wouldn't worry about the turn downs, and just go after any woman I liked.

 

[manwithouthat]

I sounds like the original poster is looking for us to tell what "techniques" or "lines" or similar things that we think we know now that we didn't know back then.

For myself, I often say the phrase "if I only knew then what I know now..." too. The thing is, it's not the techniques, or come ons that I've heard of over the years that I would change.

There is only one real thing I would change. If I could go back in time to when I was in high school and college, I would know that I have reason to be more confident, and I would GO FOR IT more often. A lot more often. That's all it would take, but things would be very different.

When I was young, I seldom got turned down because I seldom put myself out there in the position where it could happen. If I could go back, I wouldn't worry about the turn downs, and just go after any woman I liked.

Thanks, Crazy. Your input is more along the lines of what I'm hoping to get people to discuss.

 

[Gomorra]

Freshman year I had a class with this chick that was easily in the top 5 hottest girls at our school. I barely knew her.. we went to several parties together, starting talking a little bit. One day in class we were watching a movie... the lights were off and I was sitting next to her. I saw here chewing gum and asked her for a piece and she said she didn't have anymore. So I said "Your last piece, huh?..whatever." She promised it was... I kept giving her shit being sarcastic. Then she hit me with "If you want it, come get it"... She was looking me right in my eyes with her mouth open. I was totally thrown off guard... I had so much running through my head that I bitched out.

This wasn't about sex, but sexual confidence I guess.

 

[E-Ann-Hilden]

I passed on too many really good girls chasing the prime ones in college. That was a mistake! I should have had relized "a bird in the hand in worth two in the bush".

I left to many great experiences behind, but I am very happy now despite that.

Youth is wasted on the young they say.. Oh well, I still has allot of fun!

 

[Skyraider22]

:2 cents:One girl my senior year of high school she use to give me that take me now look.We were great friends and we really wanted each other and never acted on the feeling.:dunno: Hey who knew

 

[Member2019]

Nothing, absolutely nothing ...

I had my values and views by 15, really starting at 13, and solidifying the first year of high school. I would change absolutely nothing about myself or how I approached high school.

- Women dumped me because I wouldn't have intercourse. Their loss, and no loss to me, especially since I could have gotten them pregnant as a result. More often than not, several of them did. Some did abortions. Others did not. I stuck with my "safe sex without abstinence" program.

- I didn't change who I was to meet the requirements or expectations of others. I didn't associate with people because of what others said. If I didn't do what a woman wanted me to do socially in my choices, she had to decide what was important for her just like I did for myself.

- I didn't stop until I met a woman who accepted myself and all my values for what they were. It took over another 5 years, but I did. I then married her 3 years later. In fact, while I was dating and then engaged to her, people tried to tell me what I should/shouldn't do with her or who I should be with.

In the end, only you yourself know what you want and/or need. Don't let anyone else tell you what you do. If you live that, as I did for virtually all of high school, then you'll be fine. If you did not, then maybe there are a few things to regret.

I have few regrets in my life.

 

[saint]

waitress form hooters i could've banged out, except i put on a movie i wanted to see (godfather 3) my cousins girlfriend fingered herself about 4 inches from my face after reciting wounded girl turned slut poetry, stripper who shuddered when i breathed on her neck and told her to keep her clothes on, this prospect whose babe kept looking at me like she wanted to jump on my head, crotch first... i even got her alone and didn't do anything.... i can go on....

 

[Nester6]

I wouldn't have wasted so much time on repressive, guilt inducing, worthless religion.

 

[bobbychoo]

Had a few like that, i had a problem with self esteem in high school especially when it came to girls.
whats worse is i heard years later after i left school that i could have lost my virginity to 3 different girls but i totally missed the signs.....
Before i met my current GF i used to wise i could go back in time and do things differently

 

[manwithouthat]

So it looks to me ike there was no "magic bullet."

Interesting.

What I'm getting out of this is "If I only had the confidence then that I do now."