I've been talking to this girl I work with for a couple of weeks now. I've known her longer but it's only been within the last two weeks that we've really talked steadily. I had a crush on this girl before and after we started talking more it got even worse lol. I've never met someone that has so much in common with me before. Our childhoods, what we wanted to be when we got older (we both wanted to draw...her anime and I wanted to work for Marvel). It's crazy the amount we have in common. Now we only really get to talk online because at work we are in two different areas of the plant. So the other day we were chatting on messenger and I asked her what she looks for in a guy. She told me taller than her (check) a nice cock (she actually said that and check lol) someone who drives (shit) and someone who has their own place (shit....yes I don't have either...I used to but I've been going through a rough financial time right now and shes aware of this). So I asked her well what about a guy who wants those things and is trying to get them and is looking for a girl who understands that and is willing to accept that. She automatically thought I was talking about me and her and she was right but I didnt play it like that. I've really only been talking to her for a couple of weeks so I don't want to scare her off. She replied she would if she knew the guy well. She also said that any girl would understand something like that. Now my question is (especially to the ladies reading this) is that like some sort of code for yes I would date you under those circumstances but I want to get to know you more? lol. I'm fucking confused. I apologize for this being so long. Another thing is I want to ask her for her #....but I don't want to ask her too soon you know? I'm fucking lost when it comes to this cat and mouse chasing shit lol. I've never had to do this before. It's always been pretty straight forward with past women. This one is different though.
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Some advice for a guy whos got it bad?
- Thread starter Lurch53
- Start date
Atar554
Little Porn Lover
Take all your anxiety and stuff it somewhere for the time being.
Next time you run into her flat out ask her for a date...prepare ahead of time where some nice places to go might be, I wouldn't ask her where she would like to go; from how you described her she might like the dude being decisive. In the sense of "If you want a date with me you should want one enough to ask and to plan ahead and prepare at least a nice basic evening."
She'll likely say yes and then say good could I get your number then? After you get that smile and make a non-rude/abrupt exit. Meaning if she obviously wants to talk to you stay an talk if you can. If not pretend you have somewhere else to be.
You could also skip the numbers thing if you're going to talk on a messenger that's about as good as a phone number at first. But ask her out in person.
"getting to know" someone can be done two different ways. Hang around her making her laugh and being friendly till your bff's or going on dates and making her laugh and becoming a bff with benefits.
I'm not one to feel that the friend zone is always a thing of doom but typically if a woman leans on you and relies on you like a family member that's how it's typically going to stay. If you start with a premise of romance then that is imo less likely to happen. The friendship will still form if it's a good relationship but you'll have the mate or partner aspect as well.
Next time you run into her flat out ask her for a date...prepare ahead of time where some nice places to go might be, I wouldn't ask her where she would like to go; from how you described her she might like the dude being decisive. In the sense of "If you want a date with me you should want one enough to ask and to plan ahead and prepare at least a nice basic evening."
She'll likely say yes and then say good could I get your number then? After you get that smile and make a non-rude/abrupt exit. Meaning if she obviously wants to talk to you stay an talk if you can. If not pretend you have somewhere else to be.
You could also skip the numbers thing if you're going to talk on a messenger that's about as good as a phone number at first. But ask her out in person.
"getting to know" someone can be done two different ways. Hang around her making her laugh and being friendly till your bff's or going on dates and making her laugh and becoming a bff with benefits.
I'm not one to feel that the friend zone is always a thing of doom but typically if a woman leans on you and relies on you like a family member that's how it's typically going to stay. If you start with a premise of romance then that is imo less likely to happen. The friendship will still form if it's a good relationship but you'll have the mate or partner aspect as well.
Hypergalaxy
Fuck the rest, Freeones is the best!
Just ask her out to lunch or something casual if you think you both feel any sort of connection. Once you get in the friends zone you will never get out so be careful not to take too long to ask her.
meesterperfect
Hiliary 2020
OP, If you read one post this year......make it this one.
You are taking this too seriously.
You don't have to know someone better or talk for eternity before you go out with someone.
Hell I meet girls on buses and stores and 15 minutes later were getting lunch or ice cream or a beer or something.
Just ask her to lunch or something on your days off.
"Hey you want to get something to eat with me on tuesday?". Thats it.Thats all.
If she's interested in you she will say yes, if not........Next!
Keep it simple, keep it light. you don't want to start talking all serious right out of the gate., it makes you look desperate.
You havent even gone out with her once and youre already talking about being bf and gf.
Slow......first you gotta hang out with her.
Ok? sound good?
btw good advice from all above.
You are taking this too seriously.
You don't have to know someone better or talk for eternity before you go out with someone.
Hell I meet girls on buses and stores and 15 minutes later were getting lunch or ice cream or a beer or something.
Just ask her to lunch or something on your days off.
"Hey you want to get something to eat with me on tuesday?". Thats it.Thats all.
If she's interested in you she will say yes, if not........Next!
Keep it simple, keep it light. you don't want to start talking all serious right out of the gate., it makes you look desperate.
You havent even gone out with her once and youre already talking about being bf and gf.
Slow......first you gotta hang out with her.
Ok? sound good?
btw good advice from all above.
ragincaucasian
I don't think the G-spot exists!
send her a folded up note and ask her to circle "yes" or "no" after you ask her if she wants to go to prom
jeezuschrist......just see if she wants to meet up with you some night with you and your friends (with her friends).....no pressure for her and if she wants to get with you, she'll make it happen. At least get her number (you're already IMing her so its not a big step). If you ask her out on a "d-a-t-e" it will freak her out, lose your leverage for a relationship, and make you look like a chump.
jeezuschrist......just see if she wants to meet up with you some night with you and your friends (with her friends).....no pressure for her and if she wants to get with you, she'll make it happen. At least get her number (you're already IMing her so its not a big step). If you ask her out on a "d-a-t-e" it will freak her out, lose your leverage for a relationship, and make you look like a chump.
Wait for her out of the plant with a bunch of simple daises, after work, and ask her out for the day after. She'll exchange numbers and you can take it from there 
Ace Bandage
The one and only.
Get some chloroform and a VW bus.
Hot Mega
I'm too lazy to set a usertitle.
Dude, be honest with yourself first and foremost. If you know that you're not in the position that best represents what you're about or where you should be...be honest with the girl and don't beat around the bush about your circumstance.
If she's into you she'll understand if your circumstance sounds reasonable. If she doesn't so what, you can't expect to stiff arm her by carrying on a deception until you get your shit together.
If she decides to move on....just hope you meet the right girl again when you get on your feet. Or you come full circle with her one day and hook up with your 'soul mate' again.:dunno:
You don't get anywhere taking half-steps in your stride hoping not to say or do the wrong thing. Be what you are and if that is something you can accept as a positive representation of yourself, expect that to be respected. If not..move on.
What chapter in the 'Gloyster Guide to Seduction' would that method be discussed?
If she's into you she'll understand if your circumstance sounds reasonable. If she doesn't so what, you can't expect to stiff arm her by carrying on a deception until you get your shit together.
If she decides to move on....just hope you meet the right girl again when you get on your feet. Or you come full circle with her one day and hook up with your 'soul mate' again.:dunno:
You don't get anywhere taking half-steps in your stride hoping not to say or do the wrong thing. Be what you are and if that is something you can accept as a positive representation of yourself, expect that to be respected. If not..move on.
What chapter in the 'Gloyster Guide to Seduction' would that method be discussed?
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