Why Do I always get attracted to the taken ones???

[b00mslug]

Ok I got a really interesting situation. I've noticed that I usually find women that are in relationships more attractive and more easier to talk to. Is that a problem? For instance, I have a friend who I never saw as nothing more than that but now she's in a relationship and I feel as if all of a sudden she's got something different about her and I find her more attractive to talk to.

A friend of mine told me that It seems that I like to take on "challenges" which I have no idea what he meant. Why does this happen?? I need to know!!

And does this happen to other men as well?

 

[Will E Worm]

Because that's the way you are. :tongue:

Is she married? Then she is fair game.

 

[b00mslug]

Because that's the way you are. :tongue:

Is she married? Then she is fair game.

no she isn't married...yet!!..but then again i guess i like a challenge :tongue:

 

[maildude]

Maybe it's the same reason as when a guy who's a zero with women, he gets married, and all of a sudden he's interesting to them. :dunno:

 

[biomech]

I know what you are talking about, I have had the same problem myself.
I think part of it is pursuing something you can't have, ie. the forbidden fruit.
It seems more exciting, especially if the other person exhibits some mutual attraction or flirtation.
Your best off to leave it alone, there are plenty of hot single women out there.

 

[JakeSnake]

:dunno:.

 

[~~whimsy~~]

Or it could be that you know there is no chance with them, thus you are comfortable, because you will not be put under the pressures of a relationship.

How a single girl may have interest in you, and you are not actually ready for a relationship, or intimate relationship, so you will talk easier with women who are already taken and you have no worries of them wanting to get close. And if they do there is always that excuse of being a friend or whoever significant other.

For instance, I have a friend who I never saw as nothing more than that but now she's in a relationship and I feel as if all of a sudden she's got something different about her and I find her more attractive to talk to.

With that said, you could have maybe have had her in a relationship, I don't know; I am merely stating an answer with information you provided. Now she is in a relationship and is generally "off limits" in a respectful sense. Now you feel crazy about her and all of a sudden, her being no longer single and able to be with you, you are ready to talk comfortably with her as you could have done when she was still single.

Maybe you are deep down afraid of entering into an intimate relationship with someone. However when they are in a relationship, it is safe territory and you act when you should had done when they were single.

Think long and hard about why it is you do this.

 

[STDiva]

When someone is in a relationship, they (usually) have a more positive self image of themselves, and that confidence is projected onto others.

I always hear people say, "Man, when I had a girlfriend, girls were all over me, but now that I'm single, they're avoiding me like the plague"

Get what I'm sayin brah?

 

[STDiva]

When someone is in a relationship, they (usually) have a more positive self image of themselves, and that confidence is projected onto others.

I always hear people say, "Man, when I had a girlfriend, girls were all over me, but now that I'm single, they're avoiding me like the plague"

Get what I'm sayin brah?

 

[BlueBalls]

You're not the only one.

 

[Hypergalaxy]

Wanting what you cant have.. All humans tend to do this

 

[Cpt.Obvious]

people in relationships show confidence in there life single people usually are on edge especially when they are looking for someone.
confidence is always more attractive.
people in relation ships are also less stressed, more friendly, less guarded.....
they are not looking, and their for less threatening.
If you're dating your looking and they are looking, if you find someone attractive and go after them before they have had a chance to know you, the reaction quite justifiable is to put a shield up and be guarded, which makes someone look like an asshole.
it also translates in appearance.
If your in a relation ship appearance is an option and is often for fun and you have support.
If you are single, it's a necessity, often against your character so to fit in, a stressful chore, and your left to fend for your self.

 

[zell]

It can be looked at in two ways,it's either you or her.

When I say it's either you,that means that you are psychologically attracted to the unattainable or emotionally unattached.She's in a relationship now,so you know that you more than likely can't have her now,thus taking any form of rejection out of the equation,because you're probably not going to pursue her anyway.

The truth is that you probably liked her the same amount in the first place but didn't really realize it until you saw her with someone that wasn't you.Now you realize how much you actually do like her.

Now the the her.Like some others have said,it could be that since she's with someone,she is exuding a lot of positivity that you probably didn't notice before,or wasn't there before she started dating this new guy.Either way,you find it very attractive and are seeing her in a new light.

Or it could be a combination of both,or neither,because what the hell do I know anyway.I wasn't a psychology major.

But seriously,I don't know what your plans are as far as going after her now that you've noticed that you really like her,but I would say that it would be best to stay "just friends" and don't obsess over her,and find some other girls to hook up with.

 

[JordanRules]

I've had a few times where I was really attracted to a girl, and it turns out she already has a boyfriend or is even married. And at my age now and dating, when I meet a girl, the first thing I look at is her hand to see if there is a ring on her finger. Well, okay, it's not the first think I look at, but you get the idea.

 

[Kingfisher]

Because mentally you see it as a challange.

 

[zell]

And at my age now and dating, when I meet a girl, the first thing I look at is her hand to see if there is a ring on her finger. Well, okay, it's not the first think I look at, but you get the idea.

Yup,same here.

 

[Supafly]

Thats easy

Any person gets attracted by people who are taken

If you wnat to get real hot babes, get a so-so girlfriend and then the hotties will come to you :thumbsup:

Nasty trick but it works

 

[b00mslug]

I think part of it is pursuing something you can't have, ie. the forbidden fruit.
It seems more exciting, especially if the other person exhibits some mutual attraction or flirtation.

The truth is that you probably liked her the same amount in the first place but didn't really realize it until you saw her with someone that wasn't you.Now you realize how much you actually do like her.

I definitely agree with both of you guys and SimplexDesign I think it's a combination of having something that you can't get as well as the fact that "you never know what you got till it's gone" type of scenario...

And it's sorta like economics (Yes call me a business nerd) there is a direct relationship between supply and demand....The less supply you have the more it's demanded and the more supply you have the less demand you'll have...So since she is taken now (meaning there is no/little supply) i'll have more of a demand for her (meaning i'd like her)...Woww I can't believe i actually applied something i learnt in school to picking up chicks...Guess all those hungover classes really paid off =P

 

[~~whimsy~~]

There is the child syndrome of: if I have it I do not want it; if I do not I really want it.

 

[Alyssa Rose]

Thats easy

Any person gets attracted by people who are taken

If you wnat to get real hot babes, get a so-so girlfriend and then the hotties will come to you :thumbsup:

Nasty trick but it works

Thats low :nono: :tongue:

I think it has to do with a mix of things, girls in relationships usually do have more confidence then single girls and everyone know confidence is sexy. It probably also has to do with wanting what you can have. The only thing is, once you get it, are you still going to want it?