FHM (UK) 100 Sexiest Women In The World 2013

[Mr_Stiffy]

Hello,

The results are in of FHM's annual 100 Sexist poll, and I thought I'd share these with you in the interests of anybody that wouldn't read them elsewhere but would be interested as to how the British public voted. I personally always find it comparatively interesting to read the American results of such polls, since they always feature names I don't know, and it's interesting to see where one nation rates a lady compared to another.

On a personal note, I'm dismayed that the two highest ranking English girls are both from Coronation Street, which reflects the men who bothered to vote I suppose, but we can do a lot better than Scott Sinclair's other half. At least Tulisa wasn't top of the Britpile, indeed she was top overall last year. Ridiculous. The mag says they received more votes than ever and as well as campaigns on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, they also received "anonymous plastic doll of Kate Upton with a ‘Vote for me’ badge" - you couldn't make it up.

So here's the list. As ever it's a mix of the global megastar, Page 3/glamour models, a few names that surprise, and one or two you really have to be British to have heard of.





100. Sofia Vergara
99. Nathalie Emmanuel
98. Chloe Cummings
97. Olivia Godfrey
96. Susanna Reid
95. Layla Anna-Lee
94. Imogen Poots
93. Linda Barker (REALLY??)
92. Rachel Shenton
91. Kristen Stewart
90. Rachel Riley
89. Lucy Collett
88. Franziska Klein
87. Eva Mendes
86. Gemma Merna
85. Britney Spears (Winner 2004)
84. Mary Elizabeth Winstead
83. Lacey Banghard
82. Carly Rae Jepsen
81. Hannah Tointon
80. Ashley Roberts
79. Arianny Celeste
78. Hayley Williams
77. Fearne Cotton
76. Lea Michele
75. Candice Swanepoel
74. Kristin Kreuk
73. Louise Thompson
72. Emma Watson
71. Amanda-Byram
70. Caroline Flack
69. Rachel Bilson
68. Jessie J
67. Jade Ewen
66. Millie Clode
65. Jennifer Love Hewitt
64. Gemma Atkinson
63. Juno Temple
62. Berenice Marlohe
61. Jenna-Louise Coleman
60. Hannah Simone
59. Katrina Bowden
58. Pippa Middleton
57. Alison Brie
56. Miranda Kerr
55. Perrie Edwards
54. Nicole Scherzinger
53. Lana Del Rey
52. Cher Lloyd
51. Brittney Palmer
50. Georgia May Foote
49. Scarlett Johannson (Winner 2006)
48. Seren Gibson
47. Jessica Ennis
46. Lyndsy Fonseca
45. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (Winner 2011)
44. Hetti Bywater
43. Charlie Webster
42. Laura Trott
41. Roxanne McKee
40. Daisy Lowe
39. Victoria Pendleton
38. Kim Kardashian
37. Frankie Sandford
36. Emma Stone
35. Emily Atack
34. Jennifer Aniston
33. Emilia Clarke
32. Selena Gomez
31. Zooey Deschanel
30. Kimberley Walsh
29. Laura Whitmore
28. Vanessa Hudgens
27. Christina Hendricks
26. Millie Mackintosh
25. Jennifer Metcalfe
24. Mellisa Clarke
23. Holly Willoughby
22. Amanda Seyfried
21. Keeley Hazell
20. Jennifer Lawrence
19. Beyonce Knowles
18. Mollie King
17. Megan Fox (Winner 2008)
16. Katy Perry
15. Rita Ora
14. Rosie Jones
13. Jorgie Porter
12. Taylor Swift
11. Tulisa Contostavlos (Winner 2012)
10. Georgia Salpa
9. Cheryl Cole (Winner 2009, 2010)
8. Kate Upton
7. Pixie Lott
6. Kaley Cuoco
5. Kelly Brook (Winner 2005)
4. Michelle Keegan
3. Helen Flanagan
2. Rihanna
1. Mila Kunis




Well, between Olympians, Sky Sports News presenters, Targaryens and the extended royal family, it's certainly the most eclectic list they've ever managed. Apart from perhaps 1997 where Marge Simpson came 99th. I felt pretty bad actually for Lea Thompson who came 100th. It can't be fun to find out a cartoon is hotter than you. I'm stunned to find no Jessica Alba (2007 winner), guess it really is a case of "what have you done for me lately." I also am starting to think I'm the only man alive who doesn't think there is anything amazing about Rihanna.

Mila bucks the trend of the winner getting younger each year which occurred in each of the last two lists, and at 29 is the oldest lady to win since the then-37 year old Halle Berry in 2003.




#5

#4

#3

#2

#1

 

[JaanaRuutu]

Hm. They forgot me again. Weird.
On a serious note, why is Kristen Stewart on this list? Nothing about her is sexy.

 

[288gto]

Natalie Dormer should have been there.

 

[MarquisdeSade]

natalie dormer should have been there.

Give this person a star!
What a hottie she is. As I`m unable to do so myself, and sadly likely to remain so, I do hope there`s a lucky bloke somewwhere who gets to screw her

 

[288gto]

Give this person a star!
What a hottie she is. As I`m unable to do so myself, and sadly likely to remain so, I do hope there`s a lucky bloke somewwhere who gets to screw her

don't need to say more, just watch the tudors, i could melt in her body...

 

[Mr_Stiffy]

On a serious note, why is Kristen Stewart on this list? Nothing about her is sexy.

I couldn't agree more. I'm also slightly weirded out that FHM readers think there are only 51 sexier women in the world than boyish brat Cher "swag on" Lloyd, who while possessing a phenomenal voice (when she chooses to sing properly) is as irritating as scabies and seems very much still a child to me. Especially looking at some of the women she ranked above.

Piecing together what the average FHM reader is like from this list :

• Watches Coronation Street and being made to look at a woman at that regularity artificially increases how sexy she is ;
• Watches the Big Bang Theory, blatantly for Penny and not for the science jokes ;
• Buys red top papers judging by the number of Page 3 girls and some of their placings ;
• REALLY enjoyed the Olympics, probably watching with one hand down their pants ;
• Watches garbage like Made In Chelsea ;
• Has a long memory and still votes for their favourite even if they seemingly vanish (Atkinson) or fuck off to America and don't come back (Keeley) ;
• .... and apparently never watches porn!

 

[DXM]

wat!!! no Lucy Pinder ???? icardfacepalm:

 

[Mr_Stiffy]

wat!!! no Lucy Pinder ???? icardfacepalm:

I.... I don't know what to say!! I'm absolutely gobsmacked! On the face of it, she's more well known and popular than the other P3/glamour girls that did place.

89. Lucy Collett
83. Lacey Banghard
48. Seren Gibson
24. Mellisa Clarke
14. Rosie Jones

.... all of whom have posed for the mag within the last 12 months......

Come to think of it, the allegations have gone on for years that FHM rig the results to suit their own agenda, which probably points out why Tulisa was number 1 last year considering they'd shot her within the previous 12 months, she was in the public eye with the X-Factor and was perfectly happy to shoot with them again for another cover to coincide with the 100 Sexiest issue. I'm really leaning towards believing there is some truth in this, given that the only thing Keeley (21) has done that the British voter would be aware of in the last year since she moved to the States.... was appear in FHM. Hardly enough to make me think boob fans would vote for her over Lucy these days, she's virtually dropped off the face of the fucking planet.

I've just seen the Pinder hasn't appeared in the list since 2007. Her forum is full of "fix" allegations and points out that Lucy never appears in FHM or their little sister, Zoo, and hasn't for many years, as though they have a vendetta against her.

In fact Lucy's profile on the FHM site reads as thus :

" She was the first housemate voted off Celebrity Big Brother in 2009.
She once appeared in a special 'Wags and Glamour Girls' Weakest Link episode, but didn't win. Ah well, she has huge tits.
Lucy was on the cover of FHM Turkey's December 2008 issue.
She has a chronic fear of clowns, known as coulrophobia."

Doesn't say much, does it?

 

[Jeep!]

Hm. They forgot me again. Weird.
On a serious note, why is Kristen Stewart on this list? Nothing about her is sexy.

I dunno, I'd much rather have Kristen Stewart (who is attractive but lifeless and talentless) than the #2 pick Rihanna (who... well I guess she seems lively but one out of three doesn't cut it).

 

[MarquisdeSade]

100. Sofia Vergara
99. Nathalie Emmanuel
98. Chloe Cummings
97. Olivia Godfrey
96. Susanna Reid
95. Layla Anna-Lee
94. Imogen Poots

90. Rachel Riley Shocking that Rachel is only at nr 90. Fantastically attractive woman, lovely curvy figure and legs. Married too so not a shy retiring virgin but someone who will get fucked a huge amount.

86. Gemma Merna. Another married woman - love to think about her getting fucked having her great big tits squeezed.



64. Gemma Atkinson FAke tits but supremely fuckable.

61. Jenna-Louise Coleman - wow, staggering sexiness but straight actress- no porn likely. Unless ahome video is leaked out...


38. Kim Kardashian Much prefer her sister Khloe - pain in the neck but plenty of curve to hold onto whilst fucking her.

30. Kimberley Walsh - fittest member of Girls Aloud - just great figure, nice tits, lives with a bloke so probably shagged regulalry.


23. Holly Willoughby My dream woman - curvy, nice bum, big tits, loves heels - fuck all night.


3. Helen Flanagan not very bright but with tits like those who cares.

 

[horn_dog]

Another stupid list made by some teenage douchebags. Rhianna #2 and Sofia Vergara #100? Riiiight.

 

[parry316]

Kelly Brook should be #1 and Michelle Keegan should be #2

 

[Vanilla Bear]

In the Uk they have no idea about beautiful women it seems...

 

[squallumz]

this is a wonderful list.

































for me to poop on!

 

[feller469]

Rachel Bilson -69. My thought exactly

 

[CrimsonBolt]

no Kate Beckinsale??? she's one of the most beautiful women on this planet and she's british and she's not in this top are you kidding me FHM??? that mag sucks!!!

 

[gucci akita]

no Kate Beckinsale??? she's one of the most beautiful women on this planet and she's british and she's not in this top are you kidding me FHM??? that mag sucks!!!

Absolute agree Kate Beckinsale is a GODDESS

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

Mila Kunis is vastly overrated. Most of the women in this list are as well. Rhianna just flat out looks like a gorilla cookie. Pippa is only on there because of her sister. Bouncy? Really? Really?!? I can't look at her and not think of the Hulk.

At least they didn't throw Ma dona into the mix this time.

- - - Updated - - -

Mila Kunis is vastly overrated. Most of the women in this list are as well. Rhianna just flat out looks like a gorilla cookie. Pippa is only on there because of her sister. Bouncy? Really? Really?!? I can't look at her and not think of the Hulk.

At least they didn't throw Ma dona into the mix this time.