Random Statement Thread II

[legmann61]

There are literally no hot women staying in this hotel.
None.
Zero.
Nadda.

 

[The Yak]

Chilean Sea Bass. That is all.

 

[HeartBroker]

What in the actual FUCK ?

 

[HeartBroker]

What in the actual FUCK ?
AGAIN !>!!>!>

 

[The Yak]

I thought I hit rock bottom in a handicap stall in Bangkok when a Thai ladyboy snorted crank off my johnson while a sunburned German watched us on the toilet.

 

[Bonezstorm]

Yvan Eht NioJ!

 

[Bonezstorm]

Just because I believe we are ruled by weed smoking reptiles on our flat earth does not make me a conspiracy terrorist ehhh theorist.

 

[The Yak]

I need some advice. I recently began spending time with a lovely young woman I met while walking around my apartment complex. We get along well and I would like our relationship to move in a more romantic direction. Due to a misunderstanding, she is under the mistaken impression that my penis was bitten off by a Rottweiler when I was eight so she may not view me as a possible suitor. How can I tell her, in a non-creepy way, that I do, in fact, have a (mostly) working penis?

 

[Bonezstorm]

I need some advice. I recently began spending time with a lovely young woman I met......

Oh I stopped reading after that 'cause I can't help you with even that.

 

[The Yak]

People who like you because you have cocaine are not the people you want as friends.

 

[HeartBroker]

Again... WTAF ???

 

[The Yak]

I just threw out a $200 belt.

 

[The Yak]

Corporate team building activities are really just an excuse for people to run around waving their penises at each other.

 

[The Yak]

I have a strict rule that my socks be 75% gingerbread and 100% edible.

 

[The Yak]

 

[legmann61]

Thigh high boots are officially back in season. And therefore, I am once again a very, very happy man.

 

[The Yak]

Experts recommend spitting on the elderly if they become unruly or combative.

 

[HeartBroker]

I know it's a lyric, but still...

"...I went to church to pray but I didn't like what they'd preach
I was hard-headed, young and angry, and I felt I could take the heat
And I had to find out my own way how to live out on the street..."

 

[The Yak]

I arrived in Maine in late December after a brief stop in Massachusetts more than a month ago. I have stuck to Maine's middle coast, eating fish and ducks and attracting hundreds of birdwatchers from all over the world.

 

[Supafly]

... and attracting hundreds of birdwatchers from all over the world

So you are that famous Surfin' Bird?.